Things I Know After One Week

As I sat and watched Len Casper finally accomplish his goal of jinxing Lilly's no-hit bid yesterday, I reflected on the week that was. From a Cubs perspective, it had been a good week. Two series wins, an opening day victory for Z and another masterful pitching performance from Theodore "Rosy" Lilly. While you can't really make an informed decision after 7 games, I will. Here is what I know after a week of baseball.

1) Ted Lilly might be the most underrated Cubs pitcher this or any year.
While continuing to remind us every chance he got that Lilly had "only allowed a walk so far" and "the Cubs had the only hits in the game" and "the Rockies were hitless," Len Casper mentioned a stat that floored me. Lilly has now taken a no-hitter into the 7th in 3 of his past 5 starts. Wow. That's pretty friggin' amazing. Lost in the shadow of Z's "intensity," Harden's "durability" and Dempster's "hijinxery," Lilly's consistency is often overlooked. All he does is take the ball every fifth day and dominate. It's like Marquis, only the opposite. I doff my cap to you, sir.

2) Reed Johnson Likes Him Some Drama
Like so many Cubs fans, I cursed the moment Prince made contact with that pitch Sunday night. That ball was gone, as was the lead and probably the game. I was only watching to see how far he hit it. Then I saw Reed setting himself up near the wall. I thought it was wishful thinking on his part, but admired the effort. Then I watched him leap. I still doubted him, but applauded his moxy. Then my jaw hit the floor as he reached out, snagged the ball and landed. I will doubt him no more. My apologies.

3) Kevin Gregg is...I have no idea.
Honestly, I have trouble understanding how he gets anyone out. But he does...sometimes. I find myself holding my breath with each pitch. I think it's because I'm not used to watching him yet (or at least I hope that's what it is). What I do know is that I don't picture myself uttering the phrase, "We got this, Gregg's coming in..." at any point this year.

4a) Ian Snell Isn't a Caucasian.
I have had Ian Snell on probably 90% of my fantasy teams over the years (yes, suck at fantasy baseball). We have a tumultuous history to say the least and I was pretty confident I knew everything there was to know about this "talented" pitcher. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the Pirates game (thanks again for the free week of MLB Extra Innings, DirecTV) and he wasn't a lanky, white dude. His name is Ian for god's sake. I thought it was a no-brainer.

4b) Aaron Harang Should Not Be In HD....EVER!
I IMed Martin while watching Harang pitch this week wondering if he had a functioning liver. The man looks like he is one coughing fit away from dying on the mound. I can't believe that no one is talking about how amazing it is that he can pitch a 3-hit shutout with the gout. Unreal.

5) There are Subtle Differences Between Len Casper and Hawk Harrelson Sharing Bad News
I was flipping between the Sox game and the Cubs pregame yesterday when the sad news about Harry Calas's passing reached both announcers. Len invited Pat Hughes onto the broadcast and they spent the next 20 minutes discussing what he meant to not only Philly fans, but fans of baseball in general. I switched back over to the Sox game and was greeted with this from Hawk:

(paraphrasing)
(excited) So it's 8-4 good guys as we go into the top of the 5th! As I was saying last inning, news is that...uh...Harry Calas...uh...long-time voice of the Phillies...has....uh....he's dead. (awkward pause not filled by Steve Stone) I remember the saddest news I have ever received in the booth...when...uh...Donny Drysdale died. (pause) So, Stoney...how many dogs you have these days?

See, I told you it was subtle.

Go Cubs.

The Wonders of MLB Game Mix

I've spent the last three days trying to convince my wife that we must have the MLB Extra Innings Package. She thinks its stupid. She is, of course crazy, because without the MLB Package, specifically the MLB Game Mix, I couldn't possibly learn the following things:

Rob Dibble is the color man for the Washington Nationals. He's still an uberdouche.

Despite both Rob Dibble and the utter crappiness of both teams, I watched the entirety of the Nationals-Marlins game. What the hell is wrong with me?

The Padres waited all of two days before introducing the camouflage unis, essentially saying to their fans "we're gonna suck, so here are some pretty colors."

The NY station did a two minute explanation of the architect behind the bridge in Cincinnati. I guess they've run out of baseball stories after three games.

The story ended by stating that, architecturally, Cincinnati was about 30 years ahead of New York when the bridge was built. To which the main announcer responded "Cincinnati 30 years ahead of New York? In anything? That's a joke." Nothing like confirming the stereotype about New Yorkers, dude.

Dusty Baker is still dumb.

I can't explain how fun it is to watch angry Baltimore fans boo Mark Teixeira every time he touches the ball. Especially because he's a first baseman.

Speaking of Teixeira, its just like a Yankee to think he's too good for the rules of grammar. "i before e EXCEPT AFTER C" asshole. Go sit with Jhonny Peralta.

I really want a Sham-Wow. I have no idea why.

Participating in the Neifiball league this year has taught me one powerful lesson: its much more interesting to root for crappy players to fail than root for good players to succeed. And much less disappointing.

Michael Barrett managed to both catch a throw in from the outfield and actually tagged a guy out at the plate. Its good to know he can actually do that.

Why haven't we gotten to a point at which anyone who uses the phrase "clogging up the bases" isn't immediately flogged?

If you're going to ask Ozzie Guillen about a really important yet sad topic (i.e. Nick Adenhart), you may want to verify that what he said was coherent before putting it on the pregame show.

The Pittsburgh announcers refer to their position players the same way other announcers refer to their pitchers: "Ground ball hit to TODAY'S first baseman."

It took all of three games for the asshole on the YES network to mention Steve Bartman. In a game in which the Cubs were not involved. And a play involving no one who was involved in the 2003 playoffs. Or anyone who was ever even on the Cubs. They spent the next inning talking about a Cubs curse.

So much for wanting the Extra Innings Package.

All Aboard the Crazy Train.

After the late inning loss to the Astros a couple of nights ago, like most Cubs fans, I was less than happy. Actually, to be more accurate, I was furious. Seething mad. Insanely pessimistic. In short, I was a nutjob.

For the next 24 hours, I stewed about bad this team was and how they had broken my heart once again. This was after TWO games. It got to the point where I had planned on writing a rant about the team detailing their faults and highlighting their failures. Again, after game TWO.

Then, thanks to my chronic laziness, the day slipped on by and I found myself listening to last night's game and enjoying myself once again (early 8-0 leads can do that). Gone was the anger that had me preparing 1000 scathing words on why Fuku should NEVER play (oops), Fontenot was never gonna be as good as DeRo (double oops) and that the bullpen was going to our downfall (triple oops).

It was strange how fast my mood had changed. I no longer wanted to point out how much D-Lee sucks and that everyone outside of Soriano was tanking. I no longer had the desire to go on and on about how dumb the Miles signing (still dumb) had been. I had no desire to rail on Cotts or Gregg or anyone else for that matter. So what had changed? Well, for one...the Cubs were winning again. For two, I realized that I had not prepared myself emotionally ir mentally for another baseball season. I had forgotten that losses aren't nearly as catastrophic in baseball as they are in the NFL or college hoops. My brain hadn't made the switch to baseball thinking yet and a 1-1 start to the season seemed like a disaster.

The good news is that I think I have made the transition now or at least I hope I have. I am going to try my best to not let the next loss send me over the edge like an insane person (or a Yankees fan).

If they lose this weekend, I WILL take it in stri...ah, who am I kidding. I will be in the corner, quietly weeping in my beer.

Go Cubs.

One Shining Moment (Well, Three Actually)

What, you thought I'd put a picture of the NBA's next Cherokee Parks here? Keep dreaming.

So yesterday wasn't all bad, right? Before the national nightmare came to fruition (Tyler Hansbrough: NCAA Champion), your Chicago Cubs took the field for opening day 2009 and actually managed to win for once. Will wonders never cease? The game was entertaining and gave us a glimpse at what this latest version of Lou's club will play like. There was some good, some bad and some Fuku.

The Good
Aramis and Soriano
Leadoff homers? Check. Both Ramirez and Soriano seemed to be seeing the ball rather well last night and smacked a couple of Oswalt "fastballs" into the seats in left. Good sign. Both are now on pace for 162 HRs this year, which would be a record of some sort.

Big Z
I was a shocked as anyone to see Carlos pitching well on opening day. I guess that the 5th time is the charm. Sinker wasn't really working and he ran out of petrol towards the end, but a win is a win is a win is a win.

Bullpen
Heilman (aka the guy I forgot was on the club) looked decent pitching out of a mini-jam in the 7th. Marmol did his best Scott Schields impersonation (creating drama and then getting out of it) in the 8th and Gregg closed out a shaky 9th for the W. Could have been better, but at least now we know if nothing else, it's gonna be "entertaining" to watch these guys all year.

The Bad
D-Lee
0-fer with a K, two ground outs and one warning track power shot. Is it too early to replace him with Micah? Probably, but remember where you heard it first.

"Guys in the Truck"
Replays kept running over actual live ABs last night. Come on fellas, you are better than this. (Sorry, not a lot to be mad about after a win in the first game of the year.)

The Fuku
The now "acclimated" Fukudome went 0-fer and looked lost (still) at the plate. Brenly mentioned that it would "behoove" him to get off to a hot start which is about a 1000 times nicer than what I was saying about him. He looked so bad I was actually talking myself into a lineup with Bradley in center with Micah in right...and I was sober. Not a good start.

All in all, it was just great to have baseball back. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I found myself watching eight consecutive hours yesterday. God bless you, DirecTV and your free week of MLB Extra Innings.

Go Cubs.

PS. Thanks to Rush the Court, here is last night's One Shining Moment in case you missed it.

Better Than the Pirates...How's That For Predication?

Now there's an image to get you pumped up for the 2009 season, eh? Am I right? Bueller?

Anyhoo, when last we left our friendly, north side baseball club, they were being handed their own asses on a platter. But why dwell on the past, right? As a new season begins, the hopes and dreams of Cubs fans everywhere are the highest they will be all year. The slate, as the say, has been wiped clean. Gone are the painful memories of last year. In their place is the hope that this year is THE year. It's a good feeling, no matter how fleeting.

So, as we count down the hours until Z takes the mound, I thought I would break from the blogger tradition of season previews and predictions and offer up a few things that WON'T happen in 2009.

1) The Cubs Will Not Win the World Series.
Sorry, I thought it would be less painful if I got this one out of the way first. As much as I like this team and the additions that our buffet-loving GM made, there are still more questions than answers. Will Harden and Bradley stay healthy? Can Fuku remember how to connect the bat with the ball? Can the bullpen survive without Wuertz's sliders or Guadin's facial hair? Do the Cubs have any outfield defense? Sadly, the answers to those questions are: No, No, Never and God No. That will make it hard to win the division, let alone the World Series. Lucky for the Cubs, the NL Central is going to be horrific.

2) Carlos Zambrano Will Not Win the Cy Young.
He will be a 20-game winner though, so there's that. Maturity and command, two things that have eluded Carlos his whole career, will finally help him reach that elite pitcher status. Fear not, Z fans. You can still count on him for a tantrum or seven and possibly a few questionable hair styles.

3) The Cardinals Will Not Go Away (Until August)
A nucleus of young talent will help the hated Cardinals keep pace with the Cubs until after the All-Star break. Then, after failing to land Peavy at the trade deadline, they will collapse under the considerable weight of their shitty rotation.

4) Jake Peavy Will Not Finish the Season a Padre.
Unfortunately, he will also not finish the season a Cub. After a fierce bidding war, the D-backs will land Peavy in a trade that sends the struggling Justin Upton and a collection of minor league arms to San Diego.

5) The White Sox Will Not Finish In Last Place.
They will finish in second to last. Quentin and Ramirez will come back down to earth. Fields will be a bust. The rotation outside of Buehrle and Danks is awful. Not good news for a division that may be the strongest in the AL this year. I hope they do better, but I doubt it.

Let's get it started!

Go Cubs.

Abandoned? Never. Lazy? Probably.

When I stopped by the blog the other day and realized it had been nearly two weeks since there had been a new post, I nearly fell out of my chair. A thousand humble apologies, four readers. I have been neglecting you.

It's not that I forgot about the blog or about our Chicago Cubs, it's just there hasn't been a whole lot to talk about. In addition to the slow trickle of news out of Mesa, my Missouri Tigers have made a "historic" run to the Sweet 16 and have kind of taken up all my free time over the last few weeks (Memphis should take care of this problem on Thursday).

That being said, I thought I would make it up to you with a quick post, filled with even quicker thoughts about the 2009 Cubs and a variety of other topics. Think twitter, but more interesting (maybe).

Zambrano Named Opening Day Starter:
Well, we weren't going to go 162-0 anyway, might as well get it out of the way as soon as possible. The collective amnesia surrounding Z and his opening day performances is getting a little re-dunk-ulous at this point.

Bradley Nursing Injuries and/or the Flu:
How many times you think Milton is gonna get the "flu " this year? 20? 40? I have him penciled in for 75 games at this point which is saying something since I am one of the idiots who wanted him here.

Sam Fuld Demoted, Might Not Be That Good:
Experts: Inconceivable!
Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Japan Wins WBC:
I watched four innings last night. Seeing how pumped the fans were was pretty entertaining. Listening to Joe Morgan was not.

Marshall Named #5 Starter:
Want an example of how little I've been paying attention? COI broke this story for me. Zing!

Soriano Is Not Hitting Lead-off/Soriano Is Hitting Lead-off:
I don't think there is a storyline I care less about. As long as he hits the ball, he can bat wherever he wants. D-Lee on the other hand...

Fuku's Struggles Where About Making "Cultural Adjustment" to US:
Here I thought it was because he had adopted a "Close Eyes, Spin Like Top" batting style. Shows what I know.

DeRo Still With Indians, Wife Still Sad:
She saw a highlight of him at the WBC and nearly broke into tears. Thankfully, I beat her to it and ran out of the room sobbing.

Fast and Furious Hits Theatres April 3rd:
Let me be the first to say: Best. Movie. Ever.

Go Cubs.

FOTG Recommends...

Jimmy Rollins, Master Thespian

So thanks to the darn WBC, my DVR didn't record the 30 Clubs in 30 Days as scheduled. Super. There goes my idea for today's post. While I wait for the next recording, I thought my four readers would enjoy this new Dick's Sporting Goods commercial starring everyone's favorite little person...Jimmy Rollins.



Go Cubs.

FOTG Recommends...

The MLB Network's 30 Clubs in 30 Days.

Today (right now, actually) the Cubs are the subject MLB Network's ground-breaking show.

For all of you with jobs that require you to work full days, don't worry. This episode will air again on 3/11 at: 12 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM and 7AM.

Set your DVRs accordingly.

I will give my thoughts on this historic program tomorrow.

Go Cubs.

"Live" Blogging: After the Missouri Game Edition

The Cubs and Sox are playing a split squad game in Vegas tonight. Sounds like live blog material, right? I agree...and I will, as soon as my Missouri Tigers are done crushing the Sooners.

10:17PM:
Things I thought before I started officially "live" blogging.

1) Lou needs to be introduced to this thing called sunscreen.
2) As reader Brent points out, the problem isn't Soriano hitting 1st...it's Lee hitting 3rd.
3) Len mentioned that "fans are already getting on Soriano" which brings up a great question. How much does your life need to suck for you to be the guy booing at a Cubs spring training game in Vegas?
4) Brent's second contribution: Smarja not impressing me. Agreed.
5) John Van Benshoten, I will draft you for that name alone.
6) Do we really need to interview a guy to find out why people should come to Vegas?
7) I heart spring training baseball Part 1: Micah hit one to the warning track and it bounced in FRONT of the outfielder.
8) I heart spring training baseball Part 2: So Taguchi drives in two runs. Last time I ever type that sentence.

10:19PM
We were wondering if Bob's kid was at spring training when we were down there. Turns out he is. Good to know now that we are 3.5 hours away.

10:22 PM
Wait, it's Rascal Flatts and Darius Rucker or Billy Joel and Elton John? Talk about too close too call.

10:24PM
Please insert your own snarky comments about Jermaine Dye while I walk my dog.

10:27PM
4-2 Sox in the 5th. The Riot gets a hit off Von Longest Name and is "ready for opening day right now."

10:29PM
Cubs are in business after ARam "doubles" down the line. I can't believe he isn't hustling in game 9 of spring training. Lou can't believe it either and pulls him for a pinch runner.

10:34PM
According to Len, Micah is the "2009 version of Daryl Ward." I wish he was the 2009 version of Derek Lee.

10:39PM
Non-roster invitee Jason Waddell, who has an "intriguing" arm according to Lou, gives up a bomb to Konerko. Lou has an eye for talent.

10:45PM
Len and Bob have spent the last 5 minutes defending Waddell to the handful of fans still paying attention to this meaningless game on a random late Wednesday evening. That's why I love them.

10:50PM
Fontenot takes advantage of the single A talent in the outfield and turns a double into a triple. HUGE at bat for Hill (little known fact: Lou is famous for making his backup catcher decisions based on ABs that take place in the 6th inning of the 9th spring training game). He flies out. Good news for Bako.

10:56PM
You know it's a split squad game when the guy we traded Wuertz for is playing.

10:58PM
Things I've Learned in 2009: Fake to third, throw to first works in three situations: 1) College baseball 2) Spring training 3) When Mark Grace is on 1st.

11:01PM
Theriot gets "funky with it" down the line and the game is tied.

11:06PM
Nothing says Cubs baseball is back like a cheesy Menard's commercial.

11:06PM
I agree when Len says Chad Fox has had a lot of arm issues. I disagree when Len says we are happy to see him back on the mound.

11:11PM
I heart spring training baseball Part 3: After the PA guy announces the new White Sox batter Cole Armstrong, there is a pause and then you hear some random fan yell, "Boo. Boo Armstrong." Kudos, sir. Kudos.

11:17PM
Josh Fields (aka the waste of space I refused to drop on my keeper team) chunks a grounder. So glad I held on to him.

11:20PM
Dave Van Dyck from the Trib is in the booth now which reminds me...Martin and I saw Paul Sullivan up close down in Mesa. He may have even appeared in a picture or two, I believe. He is my new favorite beat writer for the Cubs and it's not just because I could fit him in my pocket, I swear.

11:29PM
DVD and Len discuss Arod for nearly a second and half and I almost changed the channel. Let's move on, folks. Please.

11:31PM
Bob quotes Jon Kruk talking about day games after night games, "It was much easier to stay up than to get up." Bravo.

11:34PM
Since I'm too lazy to actually look up the name of the guy who just stole second, I will assume it's the name I heard Len say: Rob Nen. Yes, it's late.

11:40PM
Hey, it's everyone's favorite cock-tease...Angel Guzman! Unfortunately, the line was off in Vegas tonight on whether or not he actually explodes on the mound. He did give up a jack, though. 6-6.

11:46PM
Butter Burger may be the best name for a food product ever. I need to go to Culver's soon.

11:49PM
I'm pretty sure that my blackjack addiction would keep me from going to this game if I was in Vegas. Actually, I'm pretty sure my gambling addiction would keep me from going OUTSIDE if I was in Vegas.

11:54PM
Heading to the bottom of the 9th and much like the Cubs and Sox, I will not be going extras. My conditioning isn't quite where it needs to be to attempt that yet, sorry.
UPDATE: They will go extras, apparently. I still will not.

11:55PM
Sam Fuld flashes the leather and I am two outs from bedtime. Newish second baseman "Barney" almost makes it two outs even after a 5-foot throw towards first. Good times.

11:59PM
Rule 5er Patton gets the loss after giving up an RBI single. Damn. Only 30 games to go BEFORE Opening Day.

Go Cubs.

Ok Winter, That's About Enough Out Of You.

As I sat in my home shivering after another exciting game of "Hurry-Up-And-Poop" with my dog, I was flipping through my DVR's To-Do-List and noticed this one on the Superstation: MLB Preseason Baseball.

After confirming that I was not accidentally recording a White Sox game, I found myself getting a little excited for some reason. It happens. After a week in Mesa watching nothing but batting practice and random fielding drills, I am ready for some "real" baseball!

Before my three readers even start, yes, I know that the Cubs have been playing baseball for almost a week now. I'm not a complete idiot. It's even possible that they have played on TV already (remember, I said I am not a "complete idiot"). It doesn't really matter. Wednesday night will be my first game on TV in 2009 and that means one thing...baseball is back. Hallelujah.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE winter. I mean, it has bitter cold, snow, ice and NBA basketball. What's not to love, right? Right? Hello? Exactly. Other than college basketball games involving anyone but Duke, Dayton, the Big East and Kansas, winter blows. That's what makes this Cubs game so special. Welcome back baseball. I've missed you.

Go Cubs.