Cubs Vendors Can't Even Be Original At Racism

Thanks to SportsByBrooks for the pic of this moronic shirt being sold at Wrigley today.

Kudos to the idiot who stole the idea from some idiotic Cards fan and made a sad knock-off version.

Well done, sir.

On a lighter, less racist note, there's this:



Awesome even without a translation.

Go Cubs.

A Two Game Series is Perfect

Sadly, the first game of the 2009 Cubs/Sox series was rained out last night. For 39,000+ soaked and (probably) hammered fans of both teams, it was a huge downer. But for me, it was perfect.

Why?

Because now they can tie.

I know, try to contain your excitement.

Over the past few months, one of the few things Cubs and Sox fans can agree on is that their team's 2009 campaigns have been...what's the best way to put this...hot-poker-in-the-eye awful. Both teams have struggled out of the gates. Both teams have managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on multiple occasions. Both clubs have forgotten how to hit, field, catch, run and in Milton Bradley's case a little bit of all four with a side of poor math skills.

So when the skies opened up yesterday afternoon, I prayed for a rain out. With a makeup date not yet announced, a rain out meant a two game series. Which, if the season so far is any indication, made it a lot easier for the Cubs to not screw this up. One win gets the Cubs a tie. Heck, two wins...ah, nevermind, who am I kidding.

So thank you rain gods for giving fans on both ends of the Red Line something we haven't had in awhile...hope. Hope that after Thursday's game, we will both be no worse off.

What a season, eh?

Go Cubs.

PS. I am going to the game on Thursday, so pray the Cubs win today or me and my 13-game losing streak will make all this series split stuff a moot point.

The Curse of the Z No-No

The goat has absolved me of my sin.

Ok, so I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that after months of racking my brain, trying to figure out what has turned the Cubs from favorites to frustrating-as-f#&k...I finally figured it out. As it turns out, it isn't the DeRo trade. Nor the bullpen. It's not the poor play of Soto and Bradley. It isn't even the injury to Aramis. No, sadly the lackluster play of the Cubs since the end of the 2008 regular season is the result of something...else.

Which brings me to the bad news.

This is all my fault.

As I mentioned in my 90210 Playoff Preview last September, there was a certain game last year in Milwaukee that I kinda, sorta missed.

Let's let 2008 J Dot explain:

In interest of full disclosure, I missed the no-hitter on Sunday thanks to a combination of my stupidity and my strict adherence to arbitrary jinxing rules. That's why I neglected to post about it. I felt like a turd for missing one of the greatest Cubs games in my lifetime and couldn't bring myself to try to fake like I had been watching it. To my three avid readers, I apologize.

Yeah, I know. I am not the brightest knife in the chandelier. But don't worry it gets much, much worse.

After the regular season ended, WGN decided to re-air the Zambrano no-hitter for those of us dumb enough to have missed it the first time. So, I recorded it. But with the playoffs just around the corner, I never got around to watching it.

So...

When the Cubs crapped the bed and made a quick exit in the playoffs, down at the bottom of my DVR was a program titled "MLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers."

When the Jim Hendry went bat-shit crazy on us and traded away not one, but TWO clubhouse leaders and replaced them with "players" like Kevin Gregg and Aaron Miles, down at the bottom of my DVR was a program titled "MLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers."

When the bullpen forgot how to make the round white thing go over the pentagon-shaped white thing, down at the bottom of my DVR was a program titled "MLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers."

When players started dropping like flies and the bats took a sabbatical, down at the bottom of my DVR was a program titled "MLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers."

Now, I wonder what the common denominator was during this fun little eight-month tailspin?

Oh. Right. My bad.

But have no fear, my four readers, there is a silver lining. I deleted the game (without watching it of course, I'm not a complete idiot) on Friday morning. Since then, the Cubs are 2-1.

Curse lifted.

You're welcome.

Go Cubs.

Do Something, ANYTHING!

His jersey fit the last time the Cubs did something interesting.

Other than committing felony assault on innocent Gatorade machines, when was the last time the Cubs did anything worth watching? Sure they have won a few here and there. Heck, they even split the series with the "NL Best" LA Dodgers. But were any of those games fun to watch?

No.

Now that the Bulls and Blackhawks are out of the playoffs, it's time for the Cubs to step up to the plate (pun intended) and start being at least remotely entertaining.

Bring on the circus catches, the late inning rallies, the tape measure HR shots, the...aww, who am I kidding. Just start scoring some damn runs so I don't start seriously considering watching I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!

Go Cubs.

PS. I was gonna live-blog the game tonight, but decided against it for obvious reasons. I will be "tweeting" about it, however. Feel free to check it out here.

PPS. Soriano homered as I was writing this post. I will now begin to eat crow.