Better Than the Pirates...How's That For Predication?

Now there's an image to get you pumped up for the 2009 season, eh? Am I right? Bueller?

Anyhoo, when last we left our friendly, north side baseball club, they were being handed their own asses on a platter. But why dwell on the past, right? As a new season begins, the hopes and dreams of Cubs fans everywhere are the highest they will be all year. The slate, as the say, has been wiped clean. Gone are the painful memories of last year. In their place is the hope that this year is THE year. It's a good feeling, no matter how fleeting.

So, as we count down the hours until Z takes the mound, I thought I would break from the blogger tradition of season previews and predictions and offer up a few things that WON'T happen in 2009.

1) The Cubs Will Not Win the World Series.
Sorry, I thought it would be less painful if I got this one out of the way first. As much as I like this team and the additions that our buffet-loving GM made, there are still more questions than answers. Will Harden and Bradley stay healthy? Can Fuku remember how to connect the bat with the ball? Can the bullpen survive without Wuertz's sliders or Guadin's facial hair? Do the Cubs have any outfield defense? Sadly, the answers to those questions are: No, No, Never and God No. That will make it hard to win the division, let alone the World Series. Lucky for the Cubs, the NL Central is going to be horrific.

2) Carlos Zambrano Will Not Win the Cy Young.
He will be a 20-game winner though, so there's that. Maturity and command, two things that have eluded Carlos his whole career, will finally help him reach that elite pitcher status. Fear not, Z fans. You can still count on him for a tantrum or seven and possibly a few questionable hair styles.

3) The Cardinals Will Not Go Away (Until August)
A nucleus of young talent will help the hated Cardinals keep pace with the Cubs until after the All-Star break. Then, after failing to land Peavy at the trade deadline, they will collapse under the considerable weight of their shitty rotation.

4) Jake Peavy Will Not Finish the Season a Padre.
Unfortunately, he will also not finish the season a Cub. After a fierce bidding war, the D-backs will land Peavy in a trade that sends the struggling Justin Upton and a collection of minor league arms to San Diego.

5) The White Sox Will Not Finish In Last Place.
They will finish in second to last. Quentin and Ramirez will come back down to earth. Fields will be a bust. The rotation outside of Buehrle and Danks is awful. Not good news for a division that may be the strongest in the AL this year. I hope they do better, but I doubt it.

Let's get it started!

Go Cubs.

Speaking of Being Nailed In the Head...

Rules for Celebrating World Series Win.

1) Remove Shirt
2) Climb Highest Traffic Pole You Can Find
3) Avoid Vodka Bottle Related Head Injuries



2 out of 3 ain't bad, I guess.

I wonder if they cut off beer sales in the 7th for a "clinch" game in Philly. Somehow I doubt it.

Go Cubs.

Why We Love This Game...

My buddy Brent sent me this today and I thought it was worth sharing:

Today is the 20th Anniversary of Game 1 of the 1988 World Series where Kirk Gibson stumbled into a backdoor slider from Dennis Eckersley and began the slowest home run trot ever.

I'm passing along this information because:

A. I'm old, and I wanted each of you to feel old, too.

B. I remember exactly where I was when the homer was hit

(In my parents basement. My yelling woke them up, since it was after midnight).

I had nothing invested in either team, yet I was watching every pitch.

After the Cubs debacle this year, it's nice to be reminded why I fell in love with the game in the first place.

That homer is probably one of the first clear memories I have of the World Series. Damn thing gives my goosebumps EVERY time they show it. I think that may be the greatest baseball highlight of my lifetime. I challenge my 3 readers to think of a better one.

Go Baseball.