Time to Dust(y) Off the Live Blog

What better way to celebrate Dusty Baker's first visit to Wrigley in 2009 than with a live blog! Why a live blog you ask? Two reasons.

1) It's what we do here at FOTG when we are all out of original ideas.
2) It means I am not at the game tonight, which is better for everyone.

Stay tuned!

Go Cubs.

7:00PM:
If there is a better highlight than walk-off HR against the Cards, I have never seen it. Starting a bit late today, which gives us a few extra minutes with Len and Bob. Life is good.

7:02PM:
Fans of the new 90120 must hate the Cubs. They keep having their show bumped to midnight by these 7PM starts. Speaking of the new 90210, who the hell is still watching that pile of trash?

7:06PM:
I always feel bad for the Cubs Care guy. The only time he gets to be interviewed on air is during a rain delay...when no one is watching.

7:10PM:
Lou's dynamite analysis of Harden. 1) He needs to get his pitch count down. 2) Rich should be able to handle tonight's weather because he's from Canada. Wow.

7:12PM:
Lou's dynamite analysis of the weather. "If it's nice out you play, if it's not you don't." Thanks again, Lou.

7:15PM:
Game time. Micah still playing right. Let's do this.

7:18PM:
Dusty is still a douche. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

7:20PM:
Rich has the nasty stuff working tonight in the 1st. Will he have it in the 3rd is the question of the night.

7:21PM:
If I was betting on the commercial we see the most tonight, I'd say it's the Will.I.AM-Bob Dylan Pepsi ad. I've already seen it 4 times in the last 15 minutes.

7:24PM:
Wow. Jay Bruce nearly ran over Taveras. Would have been great for the Cubs and disastrous for my fantasy team.

7:26PM:
Gotta love a long stretch of games in a row. Gives me an excuse to drink each day.

7:27PM:
D-Lee flies out, again. I know it's still early, but I am starting to believe that 2005 was a fluke.

7:29PM:
Damn, I forgot about the Comcast triple play ad. It's gonna be a tight race between that and the Pepsi ad. Am I the only one who notices these things.

7:30PM:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There was just a teaser for the WGN news tonight that mentioned the Midwest's largest strip club is opening soon. Why am I just hearing about this now?

7:32PM:
Fontenot makes a bid for a web gem with his "leap" and grab of a looping liner. Great play. Jay Bruce follows with a HR. Bad play (unless, hypothetically, you have him on your fantasy team).
1-0 Reds.

7:35PM:
I have no stats to back this up, but I think Harden does better when he doesn't have a ton of strikeouts. I'd check Cubs.com to verify this theory, but I'd rather surf for porn.

7:37PM:
Our first Micah v. Micah match-up is won by Hoffpauir. Suck on that, Owings. (I have no idea if I spelled either of those names correctly.)

7:42PM:
Anytime Aramis plays in weather like this, I pray for homers and singles. The last thing we need is for him to pull his groin trying to leg out a double. Actually, that may apply to all weather conditions now that I think about it.

7:44PM:
First Micah HR of a Micah. That's a stat we all needed. Thanks WGN!

7:45PM:
Geo still struggling, although he did move the always-grimacing-when-he-runs-just-to-scare-the-shit-out-of-me Aramis to third with a fly ball.

7:48PM:
Anyone who still boos when the pitcher throws to first should be kicked in the junk. Repeatedly. Why are you booing? Are you in a hurry?

7:49PM:
Theriot stays surface-of-the-sun hot and smokes a single to left. 2-1 good guys. Harden follows with a beautiful bunt that results in a hit. Bases drunk for you know who.

7:51PM:
Even with the bases loaded and the wind blowing in from left, I'd walk him. That's why my phone never rings when there is a managing vacancy.

7:55PM:
Fuku is first pitch swinging (because that makes sense when the pitcher is wild) and flies out to center. Cubs leave them loaded, but score two in the inning. That's so Cubs.

7:57PM:
Unrelated: My wife is getting her hair cut tonight and when I asked her how long it would take, she said "two hours." She wasn't joking. Reason #4,567 I'm glad I'm a dude.

7:59PM:
Two straight Ks for Harden. He apparently didn't read my scouting report. Jerk.

8:01PM:
Willy T. pops out to Lee at the exact same moment that I realize I didn't start Bruce this week. Coincidence? I doubt it.

8:03PM:
Two things. 1) Why does Brenly have to scream the promotions he reads? 2) What does D-Lee have against taking a pitch?

8:04PM:
Micah v. Micah Round 2 goes to Hoff with a base on balls. All is for not as Aramis grounds into a DP. Hooray.

8:10PM:
A stray cat wandered onto the field and a security guy decided to pick it up by its tail...which got him booed by those in attendance. That might be the first legit boo by Cubs fans in years. That guy better watch out for the PETA mafia on his way home tonight. Just saying.

8:17PM:
And...then the fans ruin their one-straight good boo streak by booing a fan for catching a not-at-all-in-play foul ball near the "Bartman area" in left. Good times. 2-2 after three and a half.

8:25PM:
Theriot's .415 BA is making it harder and harder for me to hate him for no particular reason. Striking out, though, keeps the hatred alive. Cubs go quietly in the 4th.

8:29PM:
Unrelated #2: An anonymous tipster sent the Consumerist a picture of a new Burger King sandwich that is in the works that is a "sloppy joe inside a fried shell."

It may be because I am starving, but that sounds delicious.

8:35PM:
Willy Taveras uses his speed to reach with an infield single, followed by Brenly using "ironically" wrong. Not sure which one makes me more mad. D-Lee digs out a throw from Theriot to end the inning. Still dueces up (2-2).

8:41PM:
How long does Fuku have to play well this year to be considered a non-bust? 150 games? 130? Seems like everyone I talk to is just waiting for his collapse to begin. In interest of full disclosure, I am one of those people.

8:45PM:
D-Lee CRUSHES it to left, but the wind holds it in. Fortunately for the Cubs, the OF somehow muffs it and the bases are again intoxicated. I know there is no way to measure this, but that may be the hardest hit single of all time.

8:48PM:
Micah v. Micah round 3 again goes to Micah H. as he hits a sac fly to deep center. 3-2 Cubs. (YELLING) Larry, I have the rounds at 10-7 (knockdown), 10-9, 10-8! Micah Owings needs a big round here or he's got not chance!

8:54PM:
Speaking of boxing (see what I did there?), Aramis lands the knockout blow with a RBI single to right and Micah is down for the count. 4-2 Cubs.

8:56PM:
Bad omen? Bud Light Fan Cam, featuring the musical styling of Wang Chung tonight, experiences some technical difficulties. Not good. Not good at all.

8:58PM:
Reds reliever Lincoln plunks Fontenot and walks Soto which plates a run and brings...wait for it...brings Dick Pole to the Mound. I think I have that DVD somewhere. 5-2 Cubs as we head to the 6th.

9:07PM:
I am pretty sure that the Reds didn't score in the 6th, but I helping the wife pack for Baltimore. Unrelated #3: While I have never been to Baltimore, I am nearly certain that the question "Do you wanna go to Baltimore?" is always answered with "Not even on a dare."

9:12PM:
Soriano smokes the bag with a ball and somehow ends up with a double. During the play, Votto takes out the legs of Bruce and nearly ends the season of both my fantasy teams simultaneous. I may have pooped myself a little bit.

9:18PM
Lincoln apparently is attempting to throw pitches with his eye closed again. He hits Fuku and then walks D-Lee. Dusty FINALLY gives him the hook. I know I speak for everyone when I say that if nothing else, Dusty is a god when it comes to managing his pitchers.

9:21PM
Bob Brenly just describes the motion needed to throw a screw ball as "turning a door knob counter-clockwise if you are a righty and clockwise if you are a lefty." I hurt my forearm just thinking about that. I'm day to day with an arm.

9:23PM
After Reed strikes out, Aramis says "I FEAR NOT YOUR SILLY PITCH!" with a two-run scoring single to right. 7-2 Tiny Bears.

9:29PM
Even with a 7-2 lead, this bullpen's not-being-able-to-get-outs-ness worries me.

9:36PM
The Class 4A basketball champs are gonna sing? THE CLASS 4A BASKETBALL CHAMPS ARE GONNA SING!

9:38PM
As the fans begin their on-going debate over which field "sucks," The Riot keeps on keeping on with another single. Two on, two out as Aaron Miles (Sucks) comes in to pinch "hit." Color me excited.

9:43PM
A full five minutes later, Aaron Miles (Sucks) is still at the dish. Will wonders never cease?

9:44PM
Aaron Miles (Sucks) strikes out, proving my question to be rhetorical.

9:48PM
Neal Cotts is warming up which means somewhere in Chicago a Cubs fan is crying.

9:49PM
The bases continue to be unable to hold their liquor as they are now loaded for D-Lee. With two outs making it impossible for him to hit into a DP, I am guessing walk.

9:53PM
Lee proves me wrong and flies out to shortest left. Sigh.

9:59PM
Cotts follows a full-count K with a first pitch single and a walk. Somewhere in Chicago a Cubs fan has thrown something breakable at something hard.

10:04PM
Cotts is relieved of his duties (let us hope permanently) as Marmol comes in and induces a quick fly out. He then proceeds to throw at Jay Bruce's knee solidifying the fact that God hates my fantasy team. Marmol K's Bruce and the the lead remains 5.

10:07PM
We have a late charge in the most seen commercial race tonight as Southwest's "Lady Boxing Out On the Elevator" makes its move!

10:07PM
Bob and Len discuss how far it is from Puerto Rico to Seattle. That's what you get with a 5-run lead.

10:12PM
Is it just me or does it seem like they crank up the outfield mics in games like this? All I can hear are the drunken morons screaming at each other. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky.

10:16PM
Maybe I am an idiot, but why exactly is Bradley appealing his suspension? Since he's not on the DL, he would have served his suspension already if he doesn't hit tonight. I understand there are principalities involved here, but they seem trivial at best.

10:12PM
Viscaino in to close it out. All 3,000 fans left are thrilled.

10:25PM
The ump appears to have no plans tonight as he calls a borderline strike three pitch a ball. Next pitch is hit off the wall. Jerry Hairston Jr. then gets booed for no reason other than the drunks kind of remember his name...sort of.

10:25PM
JHJ takes strike three looking and the Cubs wrap up another one. Time to sing.

Go Cubs.

All Aboard the Crazy Train.

After the late inning loss to the Astros a couple of nights ago, like most Cubs fans, I was less than happy. Actually, to be more accurate, I was furious. Seething mad. Insanely pessimistic. In short, I was a nutjob.

For the next 24 hours, I stewed about bad this team was and how they had broken my heart once again. This was after TWO games. It got to the point where I had planned on writing a rant about the team detailing their faults and highlighting their failures. Again, after game TWO.

Then, thanks to my chronic laziness, the day slipped on by and I found myself listening to last night's game and enjoying myself once again (early 8-0 leads can do that). Gone was the anger that had me preparing 1000 scathing words on why Fuku should NEVER play (oops), Fontenot was never gonna be as good as DeRo (double oops) and that the bullpen was going to our downfall (triple oops).

It was strange how fast my mood had changed. I no longer wanted to point out how much D-Lee sucks and that everyone outside of Soriano was tanking. I no longer had the desire to go on and on about how dumb the Miles signing (still dumb) had been. I had no desire to rail on Cotts or Gregg or anyone else for that matter. So what had changed? Well, for one...the Cubs were winning again. For two, I realized that I had not prepared myself emotionally ir mentally for another baseball season. I had forgotten that losses aren't nearly as catastrophic in baseball as they are in the NFL or college hoops. My brain hadn't made the switch to baseball thinking yet and a 1-1 start to the season seemed like a disaster.

The good news is that I think I have made the transition now or at least I hope I have. I am going to try my best to not let the next loss send me over the edge like an insane person (or a Yankees fan).

If they lose this weekend, I WILL take it in stri...ah, who am I kidding. I will be in the corner, quietly weeping in my beer.

Go Cubs.

One Shining Moment (Well, Three Actually)

What, you thought I'd put a picture of the NBA's next Cherokee Parks here? Keep dreaming.

So yesterday wasn't all bad, right? Before the national nightmare came to fruition (Tyler Hansbrough: NCAA Champion), your Chicago Cubs took the field for opening day 2009 and actually managed to win for once. Will wonders never cease? The game was entertaining and gave us a glimpse at what this latest version of Lou's club will play like. There was some good, some bad and some Fuku.

The Good
Aramis and Soriano
Leadoff homers? Check. Both Ramirez and Soriano seemed to be seeing the ball rather well last night and smacked a couple of Oswalt "fastballs" into the seats in left. Good sign. Both are now on pace for 162 HRs this year, which would be a record of some sort.

Big Z
I was a shocked as anyone to see Carlos pitching well on opening day. I guess that the 5th time is the charm. Sinker wasn't really working and he ran out of petrol towards the end, but a win is a win is a win is a win.

Bullpen
Heilman (aka the guy I forgot was on the club) looked decent pitching out of a mini-jam in the 7th. Marmol did his best Scott Schields impersonation (creating drama and then getting out of it) in the 8th and Gregg closed out a shaky 9th for the W. Could have been better, but at least now we know if nothing else, it's gonna be "entertaining" to watch these guys all year.

The Bad
D-Lee
0-fer with a K, two ground outs and one warning track power shot. Is it too early to replace him with Micah? Probably, but remember where you heard it first.

"Guys in the Truck"
Replays kept running over actual live ABs last night. Come on fellas, you are better than this. (Sorry, not a lot to be mad about after a win in the first game of the year.)

The Fuku
The now "acclimated" Fukudome went 0-fer and looked lost (still) at the plate. Brenly mentioned that it would "behoove" him to get off to a hot start which is about a 1000 times nicer than what I was saying about him. He looked so bad I was actually talking myself into a lineup with Bradley in center with Micah in right...and I was sober. Not a good start.

All in all, it was just great to have baseball back. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I found myself watching eight consecutive hours yesterday. God bless you, DirecTV and your free week of MLB Extra Innings.

Go Cubs.

PS. Thanks to Rush the Court, here is last night's One Shining Moment in case you missed it.

Abandoned? Never. Lazy? Probably.

When I stopped by the blog the other day and realized it had been nearly two weeks since there had been a new post, I nearly fell out of my chair. A thousand humble apologies, four readers. I have been neglecting you.

It's not that I forgot about the blog or about our Chicago Cubs, it's just there hasn't been a whole lot to talk about. In addition to the slow trickle of news out of Mesa, my Missouri Tigers have made a "historic" run to the Sweet 16 and have kind of taken up all my free time over the last few weeks (Memphis should take care of this problem on Thursday).

That being said, I thought I would make it up to you with a quick post, filled with even quicker thoughts about the 2009 Cubs and a variety of other topics. Think twitter, but more interesting (maybe).

Zambrano Named Opening Day Starter:
Well, we weren't going to go 162-0 anyway, might as well get it out of the way as soon as possible. The collective amnesia surrounding Z and his opening day performances is getting a little re-dunk-ulous at this point.

Bradley Nursing Injuries and/or the Flu:
How many times you think Milton is gonna get the "flu " this year? 20? 40? I have him penciled in for 75 games at this point which is saying something since I am one of the idiots who wanted him here.

Sam Fuld Demoted, Might Not Be That Good:
Experts: Inconceivable!
Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Japan Wins WBC:
I watched four innings last night. Seeing how pumped the fans were was pretty entertaining. Listening to Joe Morgan was not.

Marshall Named #5 Starter:
Want an example of how little I've been paying attention? COI broke this story for me. Zing!

Soriano Is Not Hitting Lead-off/Soriano Is Hitting Lead-off:
I don't think there is a storyline I care less about. As long as he hits the ball, he can bat wherever he wants. D-Lee on the other hand...

Fuku's Struggles Where About Making "Cultural Adjustment" to US:
Here I thought it was because he had adopted a "Close Eyes, Spin Like Top" batting style. Shows what I know.

DeRo Still With Indians, Wife Still Sad:
She saw a highlight of him at the WBC and nearly broke into tears. Thankfully, I beat her to it and ran out of the room sobbing.

Fast and Furious Hits Theatres April 3rd:
Let me be the first to say: Best. Movie. Ever.

Go Cubs.

Hey Lazy A#*es, Vote Already!

As you can see, Kosuke's lead has dropped below 33,000 votes. Polls close Wednesday at midnight, so if you haven't voted your allotted 25 times yet, head here and do it now. It's either that or suffer through hearing "Ryan Braun, 2008 ASG Starting Outfielder" for the rest of the year. It's up to you.

Co Cubs.

It's racist as hell, but at least we made the front page.

Went to ESPN.com this morning and was greeted by this image.


Thanks ESPN for proving that the easiest way to turn us from "lovable losers" to "racist assholes" is one embarrassing picture. What's the matter, couldn't you find a picture of some douche wearing the Horry Cow t-shirt?

BTW, the rising sun background is a nice touch too. Apparently subtlety isn't a job requirement for ESPN web designers. Asshats.

On a happier note, ESPN's own Gene Wojciechowski put together a nice piece about the Cubs that should help you put off hanging yourself for at least a few hours. My favorite part:

Chicago Cubs reliever Carlos Marmol plopped down on the billowy leather recliner in the visitors' clubhouse, leaned back in one of those "ahhhhh" moments … and then fell head over heels backward.

Reliever Scott Eyre, talking on his cell, let Marmol struggle for a few seconds, leaned the phone to the side and said, "Hold on a second. Marmol just fell over." And then he helped drag Marmol from the recliner.

Quality.

UPDATE: Good news. Check out that same pic on ESPN's PAGE 2. Now featuring double the pixels of intolerance! Hooray!


Go Cubs.

100 and Counting...

That's not a typo. The little Cubs blog that could has made it to a milestone...100 Posts! I want to take this opportunity to thank our regular readers (thanks Jeff and Mom!) and all the people who have stopped by now and then to see if we had fallen on our faces yet. It's been a lot of fun.

In honor of this festive occasion, we've decided to do a list (I know, we're nothing if not original).

100 Random Observations About the Cubs (Mostly): Part 1

1. I’ve never listened to Len and Bob’s Podcast and I’m OK with that.

2. I wish I could time my craps like Pat Hughes. You could set your watch to that man's BMs.

3. Geovany Soto is the second coming of…man, we’ve had a lot of shitty catchers over the years.

4. Someone needs to kick Ronnie Woo Woo in the throat (yes, the anger management classes are working, thanks for asking).

5. “If you hate him so much, why do you continue to read his stuff?” is the question the logical part of my brain asks me each time I finish reading a Mariotti column. I wish I had an answer.

6. There’s hell, there’s the 7th circle of hell and then there’s listening to the another worthless guest conductor during the seventh inning stretch. For the love of God, make it stop.

7. I want a championship for Ron Santo so bad it actually hurts.

8. “That ball’s got a chance…gone!” is quickly becoming my favorite home run call.

9. God Damn it Fontenot, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this o'lay bullshit.

10. It’s not officially summer until you hear: “Ladies and gentleman, here to sing ‘Take Me Out to The Ballgame’…the Illinois class 2A Girls Field Hockey Champions!”

11. Every time I’m flipping channels and I come across Chicago Tribune Live on Comcast SportsNet, I die a little inside. (I know, let’s put GIANT pictures of the sports page behind us! That will really class up this broadcast!)

12. I can’t explain it, but I really get a kick out of Pat Hughes describing the uniforms. It’s so old-timey!

13. You know what the difference is between a good Cubs game and a bad one? Rich Hill. (Zing!)

14. I found out recently that there’s a drinking game where you do a shot ever time Zambrano adjusts himself on the mound. How has no one died playing this yet?

15. I wish I could have been in the meeting when the Comcast execs came up with the “Let’s have a bulldog as a mascot!” idea. If that was the big winner, how bad where the rest of the ideas?

16. It’s the worst feeling in the world when you notice that they haven't put up a new number on one of the games on the out-of-town scoreboard in long time and then you suddenly realize you’ve got the pitcher on your fantasy team. Ruins my day every time.

17. I always see the foam claw vendor, but I never actually see any foam claws in the stands. Does that strike anyone else as odd?

18. Finding out that Corey Patterson was the worst lead off hitter in the majors this year made me smile. Then I thought, how could he be worse than Soriano? Then I cried.

19. In my opinion, the jersey t-shirt may be the greatest invention since squeezable ketchup bottles. If only they had been around when I thought it was a wise investment to spend 90 bucks on a f*#king Corey Patterson jersey.

20. I haven’t heard a lot of “F#*k You Dome” jokes so far this year. Maybe that’s because I haven’t sat in the bleachers yet.

21-40 Coming Soon!

Fukudome...the next Jerome Walton?

I kid. I kid.

You know baseball is back when I'm sitting on the Brown Line hitting "refresh now" repeatedly on my phone on the way home from work. I did manage to scream like a crazy person after seeing "Fukudome hits 3-run homer." Scared the crap out of my fellow riders.

So they lost. So Theriot is going to be the death of me. So Kerry Wood was not a steal in round 27 of our keeper draft. So it only took one day to think the phrase "Oh yeah, we would totally rather have Fontenot than Murton in there when we need a clutch hit." So what. Just enjoy this clip and forget the rest (at least for a minute or two).




Awesome.

Go Cubs.

Fukudome BP Video

Can't believe I didn't start with the Fukudome video. Here is the man, the myth, the legend taking a few hacks in BP.




Looking good.

Go Cubs.