Okay, so Jason Marquis has apparently “developed a split fingered fastball,” i.e. “found a way to surgically remove the suckitude just long enough to convince someone like Dusty Baker to think he's good,” and Ted Lilly continues to evade those people looking for the Zodiac Killer, so the Cubs rotation looks remarkably strong right now. However, if the Cubs want to (gulp) play deep into October, the general consensus is that they're going to need one more shut-down starter. Shane Falco Hill doesn't look like he'll ever get over the yips, so they're going to have to look outside the organization.
The good news-There are going to be quite a few pitchers of varying talent available for the Cubs over the next few weeks. According to a number of sites that feature actual news and not just idiots making bad “Replacements” references, the market looks to heat up sooner rather than later, as GMs on teams that are already out of it have finally realized they can get more for players if they, you know, trade them earlier in the season. So, without further adieu, a run down of six of the available starters:
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Showing posts with label Starting Pitchers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Starting Pitchers. Show all posts
Monday, June 16, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Crafty Veterans or Just Old Guys Who Suck?
I happened to turn on the TV a few nights ago just in time to catch this great exchange from Major League.Rick Vaughn: What's that shit on your chest?
Eddie Harris: [wiping his finger across his chest] Crisco?Eddie Harris: [wiping it across his waist line]
Eddie Harris: Bardol?
Eddie Harris: [wiping it along his head]
Eddie Harris: Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeo up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just...
Eddie Harris: [wipes his nose]
Eddie Harris: ...wipe my nose.
Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?
Eddie Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.
That little gem usually has me rolling, but then I had a horrible realization...
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Holy crap, I can actually picture two if not three possible starters for the Cubs this year uttering those words.
Hold on while I go find a quiet corner to weep.
I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but after the big two (Z and Lilly) there is a lot to be desired about this group of pitchers (and I'm not even going to start on Rich Hill).
Let's say that everything plays out as planned and the rotation looks something like this on Opening Day.
Lilly (Z always craps the bed on Opening Day so I'm giving it to Teddy)
Z
Dempster
Hill
Lieber
If it's 1998, that's a great group of veterans to go with our young pitchers. Unfortunately, it's 2008. Am I supposed to believe that I can expect 10+ wins each from a starter/closer/budding stand-up comedian and a 37 year-old vet coming off reconstructive achilles surgery? Really? I shouldn't be worried?
I know what some of you are saying. Whoever wins that spot between Lieber and (gulp) Marquis is just keeping it warm for Marshall. Great. I feel so much better now. Sean had decent numbers for part of the year last year, but does he really strike anyone as the answer for our 5th starter over a whole season? Can you picture yourself looking at the paper on game day and thinking, "Thank God we've got Marshall going today!" Can you? Well, can you? It isn't rhetorical! I really want to know.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just looking for the storm clouds early, but the thought of having to rely on some combination of Marquis/Lieber/Marshall in the middle of the year when Z decides to lose 4 straight or Lilly wears down gives me IBS.
Anyone else worried? Bueller?
Go Cubs.
UPDATE: BTW, that's the ONLY picture I could find of "Ed Harris." If anyone can find one that is less creepy, please leave it in Comments. Thanks.
Go Cubs.
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THE “IF WRIGLEY WERE THE SIZE OF A NATIONAL PARK, IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA” GROUP
Greg Maddux, Padres.
Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
You were great once, Greg. You're a first ballot Hall of Famer and now that Roger Clemens has shrunk back to his Bruce Banner size, its pretty obvious you were the greatest non-roided up pitcher of my generation. But let's be honest, here. You'd be the 7th best starter on this team right now. Nostalgia only gets you so far.
Randy Wolf, Padres
Home and Away splits for Randy Wolf. End of story.
THE “HELL, MARK O'NEAL NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO WITHOUT PRIOR HERE” GROUP
A.J. Burnett, Blue Jays
He apparently really wants to come to the Cubs, and would probably be a one-year rental. He has an option for '09 and Scott Boras likes money. Stay healthy, and the Cubs can leave the money on the nightstand.
Rich Harden, A's
When I was 11, I convinced my 8 year old neighbor to trade his 1963 Willie Mays card for my 1988 Mark Grace Donruss because “newer cards are shinier.” I have a feeling Billy Beane uses some of the same arguments when Jim Hendry calls about trades. Even so, if they can get him and manage not to give up the entire cities of Des Moines, Peoria, and Daytona, AND he stays healthy (yikes), he's probably the best pitcher available (even better than Anthony Anderson's long lost brother, C.C.).
THE “YAY FOR STUPID GMs ON OTHER TEAMS” GROUP
Eric Bedard, Mariners
So the Mariners give up four of their best players in their farm system for Eric Bedard, who proceeds to turn into Chet Steadman. Meanwhile, George Sherrill leads baseball in saves and the other three guys you traded are showing progress already. Its no wonder Bill Bavasi got fired today. You get pantsed by Andy MacPhail and you need to go. Thankfully, their ownership is already hitting the eject button on Bedard (and the rotting corpse of Richie Sexson), so the Cubs could potentially swoop in and get him for 60 cents on the dollar. Then again, Jim Hendry attempted to deal Ronny Cedeno, Matt Murton, Felix Pie, and Sean Gallagher for Brian Roberts. I'm going to go cry for awhile.
THE “DARYLE WARD WILL NOW HAVE TO FIGHT MMA STYLE TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO THE POSTGAME SPREAD” GROUP
C.C. Sabathia, Indians.
He's a free agent at the end of the year, so he'll probably be a rental. He was godawful in the playoffs last year and for the first month this year. He would require half the farm system in a trade. He doesn't bend the brim on his hat (a fashion trend in baseball that needs to stop. Now.). Yet I can't imagine the Cubs being anything less than a 2-1 favorite to win the World Series if they could find a way to pry him from the Indians.
Peter Gammons says the Cubs don't have enough to get Sabathia, which of course means that the Cubs are going to get him.
As someone who has absolutely no sources whatsoever and operates exclusively in the realm of baseless rumor, I would bet that the Cubs make a huge run at Sabathia, but end up with Burnett. Regardless, I have no doubt that the Cubs make a pretty big splash this season and get someone who is considered a difference-maker. And the day it happens, Cubs fans will explode with a joy that we haven't seen since July of 2004 when the Cubs made the biggest splash of the season by getting perennial all-star Nomar Garciaparra. That worked out well, didn't it?