I happened to turn on the TV a few nights ago just in time to catch this great exchange from Major League.Rick Vaughn: What's that shit on your chest?
Eddie Harris: [wiping his finger across his chest] Crisco?Eddie Harris: [wiping it across his waist line]
Eddie Harris: Bardol?
Eddie Harris: [wiping it along his head]
Eddie Harris: Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeo up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just...
Eddie Harris: [wipes his nose]
Eddie Harris: ...wipe my nose.
Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?
Eddie Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.
That little gem usually has me rolling, but then I had a horrible realization...
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Holy crap, I can actually picture two if not three possible starters for the Cubs this year uttering those words.
Hold on while I go find a quiet corner to weep.
I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but after the big two (Z and Lilly) there is a lot to be desired about this group of pitchers (and I'm not even going to start on Rich Hill).
Let's say that everything plays out as planned and the rotation looks something like this on Opening Day.
Lilly (Z always craps the bed on Opening Day so I'm giving it to Teddy)
Z
Dempster
Hill
Lieber
If it's 1998, that's a great group of veterans to go with our young pitchers. Unfortunately, it's 2008. Am I supposed to believe that I can expect 10+ wins each from a starter/closer/budding stand-up comedian and a 37 year-old vet coming off reconstructive achilles surgery? Really? I shouldn't be worried?
I know what some of you are saying. Whoever wins that spot between Lieber and (gulp) Marquis is just keeping it warm for Marshall. Great. I feel so much better now. Sean had decent numbers for part of the year last year, but does he really strike anyone as the answer for our 5th starter over a whole season? Can you picture yourself looking at the paper on game day and thinking, "Thank God we've got Marshall going today!" Can you? Well, can you? It isn't rhetorical! I really want to know.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just looking for the storm clouds early, but the thought of having to rely on some combination of Marquis/Lieber/Marshall in the middle of the year when Z decides to lose 4 straight or Lilly wears down gives me IBS.
Anyone else worried? Bueller?
Go Cubs.
UPDATE: BTW, that's the ONLY picture I could find of "Ed Harris." If anyone can find one that is less creepy, please leave it in Comments. Thanks.
Go Cubs.
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Come on...you have to be more like those 175 year old women who were wearing the "I'm a Lieber Believer" t-shirts in AZ...they were smart AND sexy.
ReplyDeleteThe Cubs do not have a big two. They have a crazy one. Lilly had a career year last season and I think he is going to have a tougher time in his second year in the NL. Bottom line the Cubs pitchers need to eat innings. Then at the trade dead line they need to get Mark Prior and put Kerry Wood in the rotation. After that they need to go find the kid who played Henry in the movie Rookie of the Year and sign him. Gary Busey would also be a welcome addtion in the dugout as a motivatinal speaker. He could also join Dempster as the club house prankster.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can get Juan Pierre back and try to reverse the trade from a few years ago. That or go after Juan Cruz or Clement. We could be unstoppable if we got those two back!
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