Do Something, ANYTHING!

His jersey fit the last time the Cubs did something interesting.

Other than committing felony assault on innocent Gatorade machines, when was the last time the Cubs did anything worth watching? Sure they have won a few here and there. Heck, they even split the series with the "NL Best" LA Dodgers. But were any of those games fun to watch?

No.

Now that the Bulls and Blackhawks are out of the playoffs, it's time for the Cubs to step up to the plate (pun intended) and start being at least remotely entertaining.

Bring on the circus catches, the late inning rallies, the tape measure HR shots, the...aww, who am I kidding. Just start scoring some damn runs so I don't start seriously considering watching I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!

Go Cubs.

PS. I was gonna live-blog the game tonight, but decided against it for obvious reasons. I will be "tweeting" about it, however. Feel free to check it out here.

PPS. Soriano homered as I was writing this post. I will now begin to eat crow.

Cubs Continue to Win, Bore My Pants Off

I turned on the game yesterday when it was 1-1 and watched as the Cubs proceeded to treat the woeful Padres like a red-headed step child. Three changes and six runs later, I flipped the channel never to return.

My bad.

It was a beautiful day at the ballpark, and the Cubs were on their way to a sweep. I should have been dancing around high-fiving my imaginary friends. I wasn't. In fact, I couldn't have cared less.

What in the hell is going on? Have I grown so accustomed to them winning that it has become tiresome to watch? Doubtful. Are the Padres so bad that I didn't feel the last three victories were that big of a deal? Possibly. Is this team lacking a personality or players that are fun to watch? Bingo.

Don't get me wrong. There are some great players on this team, and I am excited that they are playing well, but I'm not really as emotionally invested as I normally am. With Mr. Clutch on the DL and Mr. Never Bunt For a Hit Ever Again nursing a bad hammie, I am hard-pressed to think of a guy on this team that pumps me up on a daily basis. Think about it. Outside of the Bobby "Story Soon to Be a Major Motion Picture" Scales and the suddenly home-run happy Theriot, this team is pretty boring.

Sure Soriano is killing the ball, but do his ABs really have that electricity or buzz that make them must-see TV? Not really.

Milton Bradley may be finally turning it around, but his plate appearances are like watching paint dry. A buddy of mine recently joked that he had yet to see Milton swing. He wasn't that far off. The man takes a TON of pitches. I realize that its because he has a good eye, but it is still mind-numbing to watch sometimes.

And...(pausing).

See, I can't even come up with anything remotely interesting to say about anyone else.

Without Z and Aramis, this is just a team of hard-working guys who get the job done. Nothing flashy, nothing highlight-worthy. Just good, honest, BORE ME TO TEARS baseball.

Yes, I am aware that I am looking a gift horse DIRECTLY in the mouth. Yes, I understand that I will be singing a different tune when the Cubs are mired in a seven-game losing streak and I am ready to sell my first born for a win. I get it. Really I do. It's just winning is so damn...uneventful.

Go (YAWN) Cubs.