Milk Was A Bad Choice (a.k.a. Week In Review)

Well, Week 3 is in the books. Let's take a stroll down memory lane and see what we have learned from the week that was...

1) Marisa Miller is smoking hot.





I mean, wow. Just...wow.

2. D-Lee is NOT in fact DOA.

Coming off a "down" season last year and a shaky spring, there were some rumblings that maybe Lee had lost a step or two. The wrist injury had seemed to sap some of the power he displayed when he first joined the Cubs. Three weeks into this young season, let's take a look at how his numbers stack up so far.

I believe that could be qualified as a HUGE middle finger to his doubters.

Overall, he's 2nd in HR (only after Utley cranked out 2 on Sunday), 5th in Runs, 7th in RBI and 8th in BA. Not in the National League, mind you, in all of baseball. Yes, I am aware it's early, but its good to have D-Lee back.

3. Marty Brennaman IS in fact bat-shit crazy.


Busy week for Marty B. First, he called out Cubs fans for being obnoxious. Then he refused to back off of those statements by talking more shit about the Cubs.

"I said how tough it is to root for the Cubs. I think a lot of people feel the same way I do, but they won't articulate it. I'm not afraid to say what I think. [Compared to Cubs fans] Cardinals fans are hands down the best in baseball. They respect the game. They don't go to the game to do stupid stuff. The Cubs have some great baseball fans. But the ones who act like idiots (ruin) it for people like me."

And I'm sure all of you agree, I hate it when we ruin it for self-righteous windbags.

THEN, M to the B decided to take it up a notch. Tired of bashing a whole organization for the acts of a few drunken morons, he took out his "crazy old man" frustrations on his own broadcast partner.

Yep, I can totally see why he received the Ford Frick Award for “for major contributions to the game of baseball.”

I truly wish I was making that up.

4. Reed Johnson is the second coming of...Kenny Lofton? Craig Biggio?

Talk all you want about the "Pie Situation," but all this guy has done is rake since he was given the starting job.

BA: .354
SLG: .417
Runs: 8
RBI: 7

Ok, so those aren't All-Star numbers, but add to that the fact that he apparently doesn't EVER get out of the way of inside pitches (3 HBP in the last 3 days) and you have at least a serviceable player in center instead of say...a corpse.


5. Aramis is heating up with the weather (again)
(yes, I wrote this AFTER he just homered against the Mets, whatever)

He's gonna have another great year. So, for the love of God, stop talking about his lack of "hustle" or his occasional lapses in the field. He's a lock for 30-100 EVERY year. Enjoy it.

5a. Mark DeRosa is Mui Caliente!

Sorry.

My wife called me from home when DeRo took that header over the bullpen on Sunday and said:

"Is my boyfriend OK?"

Yep. I guess I should be happy she was at least watching the game. Right?

Go Cubs.

Marty Brennaman Continues Britney-Like Meltdown; Gives Cubs Fans a Reason to Smile

You'd think that Marty Brennaman would have recognized that he was, in fact, a ridiculous asshat after giving Cubs fans in the bleachers the “if you kids throw that ball over the wall one more time, I'm keeping it!” routine. Especially considering he celebrated Reds fans throwing radios, whiskey bottles, and toilet paper on the field because an ump made a bad call. Or the fact that he very sensitively compared a Reds road trip to the Bataan Death March (baseball road trip=torture and murder of American soldiers. Whoopee!), and had to apologize the next week.

Alas, Brennaman the Elder decided to up the ante one more time on the Reds broadcast because Jeff Brantley (he of the “Edwin Encarnacion is simply NOT clutch” fame) decided to correct the fact that Grumpy Old Man missed a strike call. Here's a brief paraphrasing of the exchange:

Marty: there's a ball
Jeff: no, strike
Marty: Fuck You! DON'T YOU EVER CHALLENGE ME ON THE AIR AGAIN! FUCK YOU and FUCK THIS!
Marty: (leaves booth)

(Uncomfortable Silence)


(Uncomfortable Silence)


Jeff: So the next hitter up is...

So in a single week, the Reds announcer not only loses his mind on air and paints all Cubs fans with a broad brush based on the actions of 15 idiots in the bleachers, somehow linking the fortune of the team on the field to the behavior of the fans, but also curses out his color guy in a manner that is likely to get the team a significant fine and may get him suspended. In doing so, he not only reinforces the fact that Joe Buck does not, in fact, have the most ridiculous high horse of any announcer, but also that he's an incredible hypocrite who clearly feels that throwing baseballs on the field in jest somehow makes someone a worse fan than, say, someone who drops multiple F-bombs on television simply because someone had the audacity to correct his mistake. As a Cubs fan (as well as someone who loves to revel in the misfortune of people who have wronged me, or just douchebags in general) I guess I have only one thing to say:


Awesome.

Marty Brennaman: Cubs Fan

In case you missed it, some dumb Cubs fans tossed back about 10 baseballs following the Adam Dunn homer yesterday. After that, Marty Brennaman, the Reds play-by-play man, said this:

Marty Brennaman: "This is what makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans -- I can't attest to the Yankees and Red Sox because we don't see them with any degree of regularity unless it's interleague play -- but far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball in this league are those who follow this team right here. Throwing 15 or 18 balls on the field, there's absolutely no excuse for that and that is so typical of Chicago Cub fans. It's unbelievable."

"Throwing the ball back, that's great, that's a Chicago Cub tradition that other teams have picked up on, and that's fine."

"It's ridiculous, it really is ... You simply root against them. I've said all winter, people talk about this team winning the division, and my comment is they won't win it because at the end of the day, they're still the Chicago Cubs and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up.

Brantley: "And then they'll have no one to boo but themselves.

Brennaman: "Well, they never blame themselves."

Brantley: "They'll blame that old billy goat."

Brennaman: "Yep."

Brennaman: We'll be right back after this with more out-of-touch, over-the-top, self-important sweeping generalizations from an old, crotchety jagweed.

Ok, I may have added that last line, but you get the point. I'll let that soak in for awhile as I try to get some actual work done. Angry response forthcoming.

Go Cubs.