Things I Know After One Week

As I sat and watched Len Casper finally accomplish his goal of jinxing Lilly's no-hit bid yesterday, I reflected on the week that was. From a Cubs perspective, it had been a good week. Two series wins, an opening day victory for Z and another masterful pitching performance from Theodore "Rosy" Lilly. While you can't really make an informed decision after 7 games, I will. Here is what I know after a week of baseball.

1) Ted Lilly might be the most underrated Cubs pitcher this or any year.
While continuing to remind us every chance he got that Lilly had "only allowed a walk so far" and "the Cubs had the only hits in the game" and "the Rockies were hitless," Len Casper mentioned a stat that floored me. Lilly has now taken a no-hitter into the 7th in 3 of his past 5 starts. Wow. That's pretty friggin' amazing. Lost in the shadow of Z's "intensity," Harden's "durability" and Dempster's "hijinxery," Lilly's consistency is often overlooked. All he does is take the ball every fifth day and dominate. It's like Marquis, only the opposite. I doff my cap to you, sir.

2) Reed Johnson Likes Him Some Drama
Like so many Cubs fans, I cursed the moment Prince made contact with that pitch Sunday night. That ball was gone, as was the lead and probably the game. I was only watching to see how far he hit it. Then I saw Reed setting himself up near the wall. I thought it was wishful thinking on his part, but admired the effort. Then I watched him leap. I still doubted him, but applauded his moxy. Then my jaw hit the floor as he reached out, snagged the ball and landed. I will doubt him no more. My apologies.

3) Kevin Gregg is...I have no idea.
Honestly, I have trouble understanding how he gets anyone out. But he does...sometimes. I find myself holding my breath with each pitch. I think it's because I'm not used to watching him yet (or at least I hope that's what it is). What I do know is that I don't picture myself uttering the phrase, "We got this, Gregg's coming in..." at any point this year.

4a) Ian Snell Isn't a Caucasian.
I have had Ian Snell on probably 90% of my fantasy teams over the years (yes, suck at fantasy baseball). We have a tumultuous history to say the least and I was pretty confident I knew everything there was to know about this "talented" pitcher. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the Pirates game (thanks again for the free week of MLB Extra Innings, DirecTV) and he wasn't a lanky, white dude. His name is Ian for god's sake. I thought it was a no-brainer.

4b) Aaron Harang Should Not Be In HD....EVER!
I IMed Martin while watching Harang pitch this week wondering if he had a functioning liver. The man looks like he is one coughing fit away from dying on the mound. I can't believe that no one is talking about how amazing it is that he can pitch a 3-hit shutout with the gout. Unreal.

5) There are Subtle Differences Between Len Casper and Hawk Harrelson Sharing Bad News
I was flipping between the Sox game and the Cubs pregame yesterday when the sad news about Harry Calas's passing reached both announcers. Len invited Pat Hughes onto the broadcast and they spent the next 20 minutes discussing what he meant to not only Philly fans, but fans of baseball in general. I switched back over to the Sox game and was greeted with this from Hawk:

(paraphrasing)
(excited) So it's 8-4 good guys as we go into the top of the 5th! As I was saying last inning, news is that...uh...Harry Calas...uh...long-time voice of the Phillies...has....uh....he's dead. (awkward pause not filled by Steve Stone) I remember the saddest news I have ever received in the booth...when...uh...Donny Drysdale died. (pause) So, Stoney...how many dogs you have these days?

See, I told you it was subtle.

Go Cubs.

48 Hours, 48 Questions

Hey look, it's a post with a theme!

So the FOTG team (or at least two of us) is a mere 48 hours away from our week-long excursion to Arizona. Spring Training is finally here! That being said, I realized that there is still a lot we don't know about this team and it's potential for heart-breakedness (copyright pending). So as I continue to count down the hours until "wheels down" in AZ, I thought I'd count down the top 48 questions I will attempt to answer during our time amongst Lou's crew.

1) What are the chances that Milton Bradley's ice glare will make me pee myself?

2) With sex symbol DeRo no longer with the club, who will be my wife's new creepy crush?

3) Which non-roster invitee will cause me to whisper "I was unaware he was still amongst the living?"

4) What is the over/under on the first Roberto Alomar AIDS-related joke?

5) How will I cope with a Spring Training sans Matt Murton and his ginger locks?

6) Since the NBA All-Star game is in town, will I regret not packing my Kevlar vest?

7) Will anyone outside the Japanese media be excited to see Fuku?

8) How many In-N-Out burgers is too many?

9) Will Marmol's arm fall off on Tuesday or Wednesday?

10) On the scale of 1-10, how awkward will the College of Idiots-FOTG meetup be?

11) Is there a place on the planet other that Arizona that I can both love and loathe at the same time?

12) Is it socially acceptable to drink at 9AM Western time?

13) Mountain time?

14) What the hell time zone is Arizona in again?

15) Can I hug Ron Santo without being tackled by security?

16) How much jail time would I get for punching Mark Giengreco in the junk?

17) At what point does hanging out on the ASU campus go from curiosity to pedophilia?

18) Will I be more excited to see an NBA player or an NBA groupie?

19) So Taguchi?

20) With a name like Rocky Roquet, how can you not make the team?

21) Is Bobby Scales the greatest Spring Training player ever?

22) Is it socially acceptable to drop-kick an eight-year-old while chasing down a foul ball?

23) Who wins in a knife fight, Len or Bob?

24) Why in the name of all that is holy do they have to start at 9 flippin' AM?

25) With Wuertz, Hill, Pie and Ronny gone, who will fill the void of suck?

26) What is the point of the WBC again and why is it a good idea to have Marmol pitching in it?

27) Lou Pinella, boxers or briefs?

28) If the guy sitting next to me at the blackjack table splits 10's, am I within my legal rights to end his life?

29) When staring at a stranger's wife's breasts in the hot tub, how long is too long?

30) Do baseball players work out in the off season or just eat?

31) Just as a precaution, shouldn't they just wrap Bradley, Harden and Soriano in bubble tape for the entire Spring Training?

32) How long after I put on my Murton jersey t-shirt will my friends start ripping me a new one?

33) Considering the level of "talent" present, what is the graduation rate for heterosexual males at ASU? 10%?

34) What kind a moron decides to do a list of 48 questions?

35) Whatever happened to 2005 Derrek Lee?

36) How many more years are left in Soriano's contract again?

37) Aaron Miles, seriously?

38) Am I supposed to be creeped out or honored having a Cubs player in full uniform at the urinal next to me?

39) Does Lou own an actual jersey or just a bunch of warm-ups?

40) Is there anything more inspiring than seeing Santo walking around a baseball field?

41) So, have they traded for Peavy yet?

42) Is there anyone under the age of 65 living in Mesa?

43) When Soriano gets hurt and both Bradley and Aramis need the day off, wouldn't it just be easier to forfeit that game?

44) Why does it seem like the Cubs are always stockpiling middle relievers who have trouble getting batters out?

45) What exactly is fungo?

46) Who in the hell is paying for Ronnie Woo-Woo's airfare year after year?

47) Over/Under on the number of times the phrase "He's gonna find a red tag in his locker" will be used?

48) Why don't we do this every year?

Go Cubs.

The Unified Scene. Plus Baseball. Yay!

As a card carrying member of the loser brigade, I list two things that I would be willing to travel to see. The first of which is baseball (which, of course, will be evident in exactly 28 days when I board a plane to get the hell out of the weather and into AZ for year two of the FOtG Spring Training nerdstravaganza). The second is a Hold Steady show.

The Hold Steady has been the best live band in America for at least the last three years running and regardless of your musical tastes, seeing a Hold Steady show will simply reconfirm your faith in humanity. There are very few things like a show in which five middle aged guys who look more like accountants can produce enough energy that people are willing to furiously and continually jump up and down for two straight hours, pausing for only seconds to slam whatever $2 beer happens to be on special that night. I have seen this band roughly 6-7 times in the last three years and cannot once say I left disappointed.

So to see that the Hold Steady was going to headline the annual Len and Bob bash meant two things: (1.) I need to once again congratulate these two for actually knowing a band that has created relevant music in the last 40 years (something their predecessors behind the mic did not), and (2.) I needed to bite the bullet and, for the first time in years, pay the ridiculous fees Ticketbastard charges (2 $28 tickets=$85. What. The. Fuck.) in order to go to this show.

And, of course, the show didn’t disappoint. I figured I’d compile a few thoughts that crossed my mind during the show:

Girls are angry part one: Ryan Dempster introduced Tom Morello, the opener. My wife’s comment: “Keep track of where he sits. Ryan and I need to have a chat about game one. Asshole.”

Overheard at least 4 times during Morello’s set: “Hey, is this the Guitar Hero Guy?” Ugh.

The two fucksticks behind me felt the need to Boo loudly every time the word “Cubs” was mentioned. At a benefit. For Cubs charities. Which helps kids. Apparently, there were no third base coaches to assault on the way to the show.

Saying Tom Morello is “a little” political is like saying Ronny Cedeno is “kinda” dumb or Cardinals fans “sort of” like jean shorts. The guy has a lot to say about the state of the country.

Morello closed with “This Land is Your Land.” The losers behind me booed again. So far, they hate baseball and America. I hope someone mentions puppies so they can complete the trifecta.

Len and Bob joined the head of Cubs Charities (boo!) to present the check for just over $41,000. Well done, gentlemen.

Girls are angry part two: Accepting the check, the Cubs Charities guy commended the bash by saying “two years of the Len and Bob bash, two division championships!” Some girl in front of me shouts “They’re not paid to win division championships, they’re paid to win the fucking World Series!” Yikes.

The Hold Steady open with “Stay Positive.” Can’t say that about the women in the audience.

After ripping through 7-8 songs, Craig Finn stops to mention his allegiance to the Minnesota Twins who, in his words, “have had a great offseason. We’ve added…nobody. At least we’ll be familiar with all the players next year.”

The waitresses are just walking through the crowd holding cases of Bud Light in the air. And charging $6 per can. Welcome to the House of Blues Sponsored by Bernie Maddof. Can’t they at least try to hide the fact that they’re charging $6 a can for a beer that costs $12 per case at the grocery store? Thanking my waitress for my beers just now kinda felt like high-fiving your rapist.

More Finn: “Everybody here comes from a different place and supports a different team. But there’s one thing we can all agree on: The Yankees suck.”

I always appreciate a musician more when they display even the slightest aptitude for baseball. And don’t wear skinny jeans.

Closing song for the night: “How a Resurrection Really Feels.” As the song kicks into gear after a lull, confetti is dropped into the group, the house lights go up and the crowd explodes. Hooray music.

Valet guys might be the greatest human beings on the planet. God damn its cold. Why the hell do I live here?

All in all, a great set (as usual). Morello was solid and the Hold Steady were, as usual, rawkstars. On a night where the wind chill reached -40 degrees, it was nice to remember that baseball isn’t far away. I can’t wait to start the “hopeful-happy-nervous-happy-nervous-angry” cycle that begins every year in February . Here’s to baseball. And great music.