48 Hours, 48 Questions

Hey look, it's a post with a theme!

So the FOTG team (or at least two of us) is a mere 48 hours away from our week-long excursion to Arizona. Spring Training is finally here! That being said, I realized that there is still a lot we don't know about this team and it's potential for heart-breakedness (copyright pending). So as I continue to count down the hours until "wheels down" in AZ, I thought I'd count down the top 48 questions I will attempt to answer during our time amongst Lou's crew.

1) What are the chances that Milton Bradley's ice glare will make me pee myself?

2) With sex symbol DeRo no longer with the club, who will be my wife's new creepy crush?

3) Which non-roster invitee will cause me to whisper "I was unaware he was still amongst the living?"

4) What is the over/under on the first Roberto Alomar AIDS-related joke?

5) How will I cope with a Spring Training sans Matt Murton and his ginger locks?

6) Since the NBA All-Star game is in town, will I regret not packing my Kevlar vest?

7) Will anyone outside the Japanese media be excited to see Fuku?

8) How many In-N-Out burgers is too many?

9) Will Marmol's arm fall off on Tuesday or Wednesday?

10) On the scale of 1-10, how awkward will the College of Idiots-FOTG meetup be?

11) Is there a place on the planet other that Arizona that I can both love and loathe at the same time?

12) Is it socially acceptable to drink at 9AM Western time?

13) Mountain time?

14) What the hell time zone is Arizona in again?

15) Can I hug Ron Santo without being tackled by security?

16) How much jail time would I get for punching Mark Giengreco in the junk?

17) At what point does hanging out on the ASU campus go from curiosity to pedophilia?

18) Will I be more excited to see an NBA player or an NBA groupie?

19) So Taguchi?

20) With a name like Rocky Roquet, how can you not make the team?

21) Is Bobby Scales the greatest Spring Training player ever?

22) Is it socially acceptable to drop-kick an eight-year-old while chasing down a foul ball?

23) Who wins in a knife fight, Len or Bob?

24) Why in the name of all that is holy do they have to start at 9 flippin' AM?

25) With Wuertz, Hill, Pie and Ronny gone, who will fill the void of suck?

26) What is the point of the WBC again and why is it a good idea to have Marmol pitching in it?

27) Lou Pinella, boxers or briefs?

28) If the guy sitting next to me at the blackjack table splits 10's, am I within my legal rights to end his life?

29) When staring at a stranger's wife's breasts in the hot tub, how long is too long?

30) Do baseball players work out in the off season or just eat?

31) Just as a precaution, shouldn't they just wrap Bradley, Harden and Soriano in bubble tape for the entire Spring Training?

32) How long after I put on my Murton jersey t-shirt will my friends start ripping me a new one?

33) Considering the level of "talent" present, what is the graduation rate for heterosexual males at ASU? 10%?

34) What kind a moron decides to do a list of 48 questions?

35) Whatever happened to 2005 Derrek Lee?

36) How many more years are left in Soriano's contract again?

37) Aaron Miles, seriously?

38) Am I supposed to be creeped out or honored having a Cubs player in full uniform at the urinal next to me?

39) Does Lou own an actual jersey or just a bunch of warm-ups?

40) Is there anything more inspiring than seeing Santo walking around a baseball field?

41) So, have they traded for Peavy yet?

42) Is there anyone under the age of 65 living in Mesa?

43) When Soriano gets hurt and both Bradley and Aramis need the day off, wouldn't it just be easier to forfeit that game?

44) Why does it seem like the Cubs are always stockpiling middle relievers who have trouble getting batters out?

45) What exactly is fungo?

46) Who in the hell is paying for Ronnie Woo-Woo's airfare year after year?

47) Over/Under on the number of times the phrase "He's gonna find a red tag in his locker" will be used?

48) Why don't we do this every year?

Go Cubs.

Murton Part of Deal for Harden, Unicorns Everywhere Unhappy

Goodbye Matty. Hope you and your mystical steed are happy in Oakland...

From ESPN.com...

Cubs trade four players to A's for pitchers Harden, Gaudin


CHICAGO -- The Chicago Cubs have acquired pitcher Rich Harden from the Oakland Athletics in a six-player trade, a day after the rival Milwaukee Brewers landed CC Sabathia.

The Cubs will receive the right-handed Harden and righty Chad Gaudin for pitcher Sean Gallagher, outfielders Matt Murton and Eric Patterson, and minor leaguer John Donaldson.

Harden, scheduled to be a free agent after the 2009 season, is 5-1 with a 2.34 ERA in 13 starts this season.

The oft-injured righty missed a month earlier this season because of a right shoulder strain. It was his sixth trip to the disabled list in his six-year career.

UPDATE: Cubs.com sent me a fancy email on the trade.



Go Cubs.

Hendry Removes Head From Ass

After calling up the lesser of the two Patterson's (sadly), in what we'll call a "head-scratcher" of a lineup move, Jim Hendry managed to take his head out of his tookis long enough to make the logical move today.

That's right.



M-Squared is with the big boys now.

And all is right with the world.

Go Cubs.

Who doesn't love a redhead? Well, the Cubs for one.

For those of you who have been with us since the very beginning (thanks Mom and Jeff!), you are no doubt well versed in my unhealthy love for a certain monster-thighed young outfielder named Mathew Henry Murton.

Well, all off-season and most of Spring Training, YOUR Chicago Cubs have been trying to trade him...mostly because he wasn't left-handed (or because he's a redhead, I can't remember which).

For a lot of us, this made no sense since a) he's basically a career .300 hitter


and b) anyone they could get to replace him would be basically a downgrade (I'm looking at you Marlon Byrd and Reed Johnson). Well, despite these these clear-as-a-bell concerns, YOUR Chicago Cubs went out and signed ANOTHER right-handed outfielder leaving Murton to twist in the wind.

Brilliant.

So basically, after never really getting a full season to put his above-average skills on display, YOUR Chicago Cubs gave Matt the finger and are now trying to decide whether to trade him for 10 cents on the dollar or send him back to AAA without a shot of returning to the Show.

I'm so mad I could spit.

A blogger for the Sun-Times sums it up best:

As of right now, Murton is the only player in the Cubs Organization, outside of who is in the starting lineup, who could step in and play outfield on a full-time basis and not have the offense take a dramatic hit. Sure, Murton doesn't run as well as Soriano or have the same power, but he does have the ability to get on base much more than Soriano which leads to....more runs being scored.

I am actually spitting now.

So Matt can't play center. Big friggin' deal. Can't Fuku do that? Wasn't that the plan when Pie couldn't sniff .200 in the Bigs? Why go outside the organization to fill this "need"? Couldn't DeRosa fill in for Fuku if need be? What about Ronny? What the hell?

I need to lie down.

So very angry.

Go Cubs. (Not mine, YOURS)