This Week in the NL Central...

Every time I get worried about how the Cubs are going to do this year, I remind myself of the joke that is the National League Central. The following are actual stories about teams in the NL Central this week:

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The following are stories and/or simple facts that signify the steaming pile of crap that is the NL Central:

The Astros: Kaz Matsui was removed from a February 29th game for hemorrhoids. Fitting for the guy who, had the Astros not out-dumbed the Cubs for his services, would have been a hemorrhoid on the ass of many a Cubs fan for the next three years.

The Cardinals: Albert Pujols' arm is about to fall off, Dave Dravecky-style. Maybe the "best fans in baseball" can magically cure him with their collective baseball intelligence.

The Reds: Still have Dusty Baker as their manager.

The Brewers: Prince Fielder got his contract renewed for $650,000 and he's not happy about it. Couple that with Yovani Gallardo's recent knee surgery, and the Brewers have a very happy clubhouse these days.

The Pirates: The best news of the spring for Pirates' fans is the new "all you can eat" seats in PNC park. Pirates Baseball: What we lack in talent, we more than make up for in the ability to eat until you puke.

It's going to be quite the race...