Time to Dust(y) Off the Live Blog

What better way to celebrate Dusty Baker's first visit to Wrigley in 2009 than with a live blog! Why a live blog you ask? Two reasons.

1) It's what we do here at FOTG when we are all out of original ideas.
2) It means I am not at the game tonight, which is better for everyone.

Stay tuned!

Go Cubs.

7:00PM:
If there is a better highlight than walk-off HR against the Cards, I have never seen it. Starting a bit late today, which gives us a few extra minutes with Len and Bob. Life is good.

7:02PM:
Fans of the new 90120 must hate the Cubs. They keep having their show bumped to midnight by these 7PM starts. Speaking of the new 90210, who the hell is still watching that pile of trash?

7:06PM:
I always feel bad for the Cubs Care guy. The only time he gets to be interviewed on air is during a rain delay...when no one is watching.

7:10PM:
Lou's dynamite analysis of Harden. 1) He needs to get his pitch count down. 2) Rich should be able to handle tonight's weather because he's from Canada. Wow.

7:12PM:
Lou's dynamite analysis of the weather. "If it's nice out you play, if it's not you don't." Thanks again, Lou.

7:15PM:
Game time. Micah still playing right. Let's do this.

7:18PM:
Dusty is still a douche. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

7:20PM:
Rich has the nasty stuff working tonight in the 1st. Will he have it in the 3rd is the question of the night.

7:21PM:
If I was betting on the commercial we see the most tonight, I'd say it's the Will.I.AM-Bob Dylan Pepsi ad. I've already seen it 4 times in the last 15 minutes.

7:24PM:
Wow. Jay Bruce nearly ran over Taveras. Would have been great for the Cubs and disastrous for my fantasy team.

7:26PM:
Gotta love a long stretch of games in a row. Gives me an excuse to drink each day.

7:27PM:
D-Lee flies out, again. I know it's still early, but I am starting to believe that 2005 was a fluke.

7:29PM:
Damn, I forgot about the Comcast triple play ad. It's gonna be a tight race between that and the Pepsi ad. Am I the only one who notices these things.

7:30PM:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There was just a teaser for the WGN news tonight that mentioned the Midwest's largest strip club is opening soon. Why am I just hearing about this now?

7:32PM:
Fontenot makes a bid for a web gem with his "leap" and grab of a looping liner. Great play. Jay Bruce follows with a HR. Bad play (unless, hypothetically, you have him on your fantasy team).
1-0 Reds.

7:35PM:
I have no stats to back this up, but I think Harden does better when he doesn't have a ton of strikeouts. I'd check Cubs.com to verify this theory, but I'd rather surf for porn.

7:37PM:
Our first Micah v. Micah match-up is won by Hoffpauir. Suck on that, Owings. (I have no idea if I spelled either of those names correctly.)

7:42PM:
Anytime Aramis plays in weather like this, I pray for homers and singles. The last thing we need is for him to pull his groin trying to leg out a double. Actually, that may apply to all weather conditions now that I think about it.

7:44PM:
First Micah HR of a Micah. That's a stat we all needed. Thanks WGN!

7:45PM:
Geo still struggling, although he did move the always-grimacing-when-he-runs-just-to-scare-the-shit-out-of-me Aramis to third with a fly ball.

7:48PM:
Anyone who still boos when the pitcher throws to first should be kicked in the junk. Repeatedly. Why are you booing? Are you in a hurry?

7:49PM:
Theriot stays surface-of-the-sun hot and smokes a single to left. 2-1 good guys. Harden follows with a beautiful bunt that results in a hit. Bases drunk for you know who.

7:51PM:
Even with the bases loaded and the wind blowing in from left, I'd walk him. That's why my phone never rings when there is a managing vacancy.

7:55PM:
Fuku is first pitch swinging (because that makes sense when the pitcher is wild) and flies out to center. Cubs leave them loaded, but score two in the inning. That's so Cubs.

7:57PM:
Unrelated: My wife is getting her hair cut tonight and when I asked her how long it would take, she said "two hours." She wasn't joking. Reason #4,567 I'm glad I'm a dude.

7:59PM:
Two straight Ks for Harden. He apparently didn't read my scouting report. Jerk.

8:01PM:
Willy T. pops out to Lee at the exact same moment that I realize I didn't start Bruce this week. Coincidence? I doubt it.

8:03PM:
Two things. 1) Why does Brenly have to scream the promotions he reads? 2) What does D-Lee have against taking a pitch?

8:04PM:
Micah v. Micah Round 2 goes to Hoff with a base on balls. All is for not as Aramis grounds into a DP. Hooray.

8:10PM:
A stray cat wandered onto the field and a security guy decided to pick it up by its tail...which got him booed by those in attendance. That might be the first legit boo by Cubs fans in years. That guy better watch out for the PETA mafia on his way home tonight. Just saying.

8:17PM:
And...then the fans ruin their one-straight good boo streak by booing a fan for catching a not-at-all-in-play foul ball near the "Bartman area" in left. Good times. 2-2 after three and a half.

8:25PM:
Theriot's .415 BA is making it harder and harder for me to hate him for no particular reason. Striking out, though, keeps the hatred alive. Cubs go quietly in the 4th.

8:29PM:
Unrelated #2: An anonymous tipster sent the Consumerist a picture of a new Burger King sandwich that is in the works that is a "sloppy joe inside a fried shell."

It may be because I am starving, but that sounds delicious.

8:35PM:
Willy Taveras uses his speed to reach with an infield single, followed by Brenly using "ironically" wrong. Not sure which one makes me more mad. D-Lee digs out a throw from Theriot to end the inning. Still dueces up (2-2).

8:41PM:
How long does Fuku have to play well this year to be considered a non-bust? 150 games? 130? Seems like everyone I talk to is just waiting for his collapse to begin. In interest of full disclosure, I am one of those people.

8:45PM:
D-Lee CRUSHES it to left, but the wind holds it in. Fortunately for the Cubs, the OF somehow muffs it and the bases are again intoxicated. I know there is no way to measure this, but that may be the hardest hit single of all time.

8:48PM:
Micah v. Micah round 3 again goes to Micah H. as he hits a sac fly to deep center. 3-2 Cubs. (YELLING) Larry, I have the rounds at 10-7 (knockdown), 10-9, 10-8! Micah Owings needs a big round here or he's got not chance!

8:54PM:
Speaking of boxing (see what I did there?), Aramis lands the knockout blow with a RBI single to right and Micah is down for the count. 4-2 Cubs.

8:56PM:
Bad omen? Bud Light Fan Cam, featuring the musical styling of Wang Chung tonight, experiences some technical difficulties. Not good. Not good at all.

8:58PM:
Reds reliever Lincoln plunks Fontenot and walks Soto which plates a run and brings...wait for it...brings Dick Pole to the Mound. I think I have that DVD somewhere. 5-2 Cubs as we head to the 6th.

9:07PM:
I am pretty sure that the Reds didn't score in the 6th, but I helping the wife pack for Baltimore. Unrelated #3: While I have never been to Baltimore, I am nearly certain that the question "Do you wanna go to Baltimore?" is always answered with "Not even on a dare."

9:12PM:
Soriano smokes the bag with a ball and somehow ends up with a double. During the play, Votto takes out the legs of Bruce and nearly ends the season of both my fantasy teams simultaneous. I may have pooped myself a little bit.

9:18PM
Lincoln apparently is attempting to throw pitches with his eye closed again. He hits Fuku and then walks D-Lee. Dusty FINALLY gives him the hook. I know I speak for everyone when I say that if nothing else, Dusty is a god when it comes to managing his pitchers.

9:21PM
Bob Brenly just describes the motion needed to throw a screw ball as "turning a door knob counter-clockwise if you are a righty and clockwise if you are a lefty." I hurt my forearm just thinking about that. I'm day to day with an arm.

9:23PM
After Reed strikes out, Aramis says "I FEAR NOT YOUR SILLY PITCH!" with a two-run scoring single to right. 7-2 Tiny Bears.

9:29PM
Even with a 7-2 lead, this bullpen's not-being-able-to-get-outs-ness worries me.

9:36PM
The Class 4A basketball champs are gonna sing? THE CLASS 4A BASKETBALL CHAMPS ARE GONNA SING!

9:38PM
As the fans begin their on-going debate over which field "sucks," The Riot keeps on keeping on with another single. Two on, two out as Aaron Miles (Sucks) comes in to pinch "hit." Color me excited.

9:43PM
A full five minutes later, Aaron Miles (Sucks) is still at the dish. Will wonders never cease?

9:44PM
Aaron Miles (Sucks) strikes out, proving my question to be rhetorical.

9:48PM
Neal Cotts is warming up which means somewhere in Chicago a Cubs fan is crying.

9:49PM
The bases continue to be unable to hold their liquor as they are now loaded for D-Lee. With two outs making it impossible for him to hit into a DP, I am guessing walk.

9:53PM
Lee proves me wrong and flies out to shortest left. Sigh.

9:59PM
Cotts follows a full-count K with a first pitch single and a walk. Somewhere in Chicago a Cubs fan has thrown something breakable at something hard.

10:04PM
Cotts is relieved of his duties (let us hope permanently) as Marmol comes in and induces a quick fly out. He then proceeds to throw at Jay Bruce's knee solidifying the fact that God hates my fantasy team. Marmol K's Bruce and the the lead remains 5.

10:07PM
We have a late charge in the most seen commercial race tonight as Southwest's "Lady Boxing Out On the Elevator" makes its move!

10:07PM
Bob and Len discuss how far it is from Puerto Rico to Seattle. That's what you get with a 5-run lead.

10:12PM
Is it just me or does it seem like they crank up the outfield mics in games like this? All I can hear are the drunken morons screaming at each other. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky.

10:16PM
Maybe I am an idiot, but why exactly is Bradley appealing his suspension? Since he's not on the DL, he would have served his suspension already if he doesn't hit tonight. I understand there are principalities involved here, but they seem trivial at best.

10:12PM
Viscaino in to close it out. All 3,000 fans left are thrilled.

10:25PM
The ump appears to have no plans tonight as he calls a borderline strike three pitch a ball. Next pitch is hit off the wall. Jerry Hairston Jr. then gets booed for no reason other than the drunks kind of remember his name...sort of.

10:25PM
JHJ takes strike three looking and the Cubs wrap up another one. Time to sing.

Go Cubs.