Prior a Dad Again!

masculine, noun.

1. (papá) father

Whatever, it was a slow news day, so sue me.

I particularly enjoyed what the "Padres Blog” had to say about the signing.

"Signed for $1 million by the Padres last offseason, Prior suffered setbacks in his recovery from shoulder surgery and needed additional surgery that ended his season. He never appeared in a game, either in spring training or during the season."

Setback?

Dictionary.com (sorry) defines a setback as:

1. An unanticipated or sudden check in progress; a change from better to worse.

Unanticipated?

Unless you get your sports news only once every 10 years, probably not.

Sudden?

If glaciers are sudden, then yes.

A change from better to worse?

His arm is still attached to his body so I guess technically it didn’t get any worse.

Good news is he only got signed to a minor league deal AND they also signed Chris Burke who dropped these numbers last year in a 165 AB.

.194, 20 Runs, 12 RBI, 2 HR.

Kudos, Padres.

Go Cubs.

Grace Falls Short of HOF Yet Again.

Sad news out of Cooperstown today as former Cub first baseman and "slump-buster" aficionado Mark Grace was denied entry into the Hall of Fame once again. Needing 75% of the vote to be inducted, Mark's 21 votes left him a mere 70.9% away from baseball immortality. Two other former Cubs, Andre Dawson and Lee Smith also fell short this year.

While the results were far from shocking, there was one thing that stood out...

Jay FUCKING Bell received TWO votes.

That's right, TWO "experts" thought that Jay Bell deserved to be in the HALL OF FAME. Not the Pittsburgh Pirates Hall of Fame or the Arizona Diamondbacks Hall of Fame or even the "People Born at Eglin Air Force Base" Hall of Fame, I mean the ACTUAL Hall of Fame.

In fact, he received DOUBLE the number of votes as Jesse Orosco! So according to my math, they think he is twice as good as Jesse Orosco! For shame!

And people wonder why no one cares about the HOF anymore.

In case you aren't a fan of Mr. Bell (and I don't know why you would be), here are his career stats according to his Wiki page:

In his career, Bell batted for .265, with 195 home runs, 868 runs batted in, 1123 runs scored, 394 doubles, 67 triples and 91 stolen bases. He also won the Gold Glove award in 1993 and was selected to the All-Star game the same year and in 1999.

Those stats got him not one but TWO votes, proving once and for all that baseball writers are morons.

The defense rests, your honor.

Go Cubs.

5 Weeks Seems Like Forever

Yeah, I agree. Why in the world would ANYONE want to go to AZ for spring training? It's a real puzzler.

Go Cubs.

Go Sit In the Corner and Think About What You Did

So I had planned on posting about how amazingly moronic and predictable EVERY article about the Bradley signing was today. If you were smarter than me (chances are good) and ignored these piles of warm dung, let me tell you, they were...what's the opposite of earth-shattering? Earth-mending? Earth-fixing? Basically they were about normal.

1) He's been suspended before and has a temper.
You're kidding!

2) He is injury prone.
Get out of here, really?

3) Mark DeRosa will be missed.
Wow, your insight is unmatched!

4) He's not Jake Peavy.
Are you sure? Better double check.

Basically, it was just the same article written by 10 different columnists using 5 different puns for headlines.

As I prepared to use my unrivaled fan base to run some more sports "writers" out of town (I'm looking at you, Haugh), Martin came across something on CBSSportsline or CBSSports or whatever the hell they are calling themselves these days that literally blew my mind. Now, I know it is a little early in 2009 to be declaring anyone the Biggest Moron of the Year, but if someone beats this dude, well hats off to him.

Fix this team: Chicago Cubs/ Orioles/Giants

by

The Contrarian

(BTW, I wish I was embellishing any of this, including that name, but I'm not. Someone wrote this down and posted it on the interwebs. Apologies to Bad Kermit for stealing the style for this post from HJE's always amazing Muskbag posts.)

I'm tired of hearing that the Cubs are close. It's time to get rid of the old contracts and build around Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano with defense, hustle and enthusiasm. Call it the Ryan Theriot / Mike Fontenot era.

(OK, here's the thing, a know a sane person would stop right there and go bang his head against the wall for an hour. I am not that person.)

Let's dive right in...

So that's what this team was missing...enthusiasm! Here I was thinking it was guys who could hit, field and pitch in the postseason. Also, I had my lawyer file an injunction to prevent anything from ever being called the "Ryan Theriot/Mike Fontenot Era." You're welcome.

1st I love the acquisition of Joey Gathwright.

Let that one sink in. The Gathwright signing is what he OPENED with.

He's actually hit at every level he's been used at. I mean 3 AB's per game not just as a pinch-runner and defensive replacement. He also had very good numbers for assists in the minors.

Good to know he could throw out guys with minor league speed. World Series, here we come!

He'll never hit for power but start him. While he's starting think about how Bobby Dernier changed the cubs.

I thought about it, then I cried a little bit.

2nd Its time for the 3 Amigos to move on.

Look it's a 20-year-old movie reference!

Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Alfonzo Soriano are the big name big dollar guys that have actually forced me to watch the hustling Tampa Rays instead of the swing for the fences and miss Cubs. I'd move all 3.

I'm thinking what "forced" you to watch the hustling Rays may have been related to the Cubs forgetting to win a playoff game.

I'd send Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, while eating a portion of those contracts, to Baltimore. Brian Roberts ? No thanks. More big money. Nice Player but so are Fontenot and Theriot. Let's keep those guys hustling.

What's your deal with all the hustling? This isn't soccer. Better question, we're paying them to take our two of our best players? That's nice of us.

Lee and Ramirez to Baltimore for A bag of magic beans works for me, but I'd rather have 4 prospects/ suspects.

I'm on the fence with this magic beans vs. players debate, but I have to say, I'm leaning towards the beans. I mean, they are magic beans.

1. Little Lefty Troy Patton who could fit nicely between the big righties and become the next Jamie Moyer. Patton is 23.

The next Jamie Moyer? I'm sold.

2. 3B Tyler Henson, who strikes out too much but has power and speed potential. He's 21.

So you traded Aramis, who has decent plate discipline and drives in a ton of runs, for an unproven 21-year-old who strikes out but can run really fast? Can't see a flaw in that logic. Go on...

3. LF Luis Montanez, a former Cub Farm hand who it seemed to click for last season at Bowie. He's 27 and finally had a break out year.

A former Cub minor leaguer! You had me at former.

4. and AA Right Hand starter - the big name- Chris Tillman, only 20, Tillman dominated at Bowie last year. Going 11-4 with 154 k's.

So we traded BOTH corner infielders for a potentially great pitcher and some young kids who love the hustle. I can feel the enthusiasm, can you?

Baltimore signed Isturiz to play SS next to Roberts, They have Left Handed Power in Scott, Markakis, and Huff, a good looking young kid in Adam Jones in CF, but they have an aging 3B in Melvin Mora and no one at 1st base. If Matt Weiters is what they think he is - Lee and Ramirez in the cozy Camden Yards (I've been to Wrigley and Camden Yards are the better hitters park) is a good fit.

I know the name is confusing, but it's just the one yard.

They have young pitching in Liz, Olson, Guthrie, Burres, and rookies Matusz and Hernandez. So giving up some kids is do-able and it clears space and helps the cubs long term.

At 1b - I'd look hard at Tampa Bay's Eric Hinske as a short-term and possibly surprising long term replacement.

I hope to God there are two Eric Hinskes.

Hinkse grew up a cub fan. Started his career in the cubs minor league system and brings a solid left-handed bat to battle it out with Micah Hoffpair. Hinske can play 4 spots.

FOUR positions??? Is he counting DH 3 times?

At 3B - The short term place holder should be Ty Wiggington an under-rated RH power bat.

If Ty's rating is "lacks a pulse" then he's underrated. If it's anything above that, I think he's rated perfectly.

Josh Vitters eventually takes the role but Wiggington can play baseball and 5 positions. Hinske can play here too, against Righties.

Is Righties an actual person or is he speaking of right-handed pitchers in general?

At 2B - Fontenot Both Backed by DeRosa

Trouble with math again. While he does have the heart and hustle of men twice his size, he is in fact just one dude. Sad but true.

At SS - Theriot With Ronny Cedeno back

In CF - Gathwright With Reed Johnson in Reserve

In LF - Montanez With DeRosa in Reserve

So on this fictitious team, DeRo doesn't even start? The most consistent hitter, a guy with decent power and high RBI potential is now a backup? Head hurting...

Which brings me to my next cap clearing trade Rafeal Soriano, can go to a team more tolerant of players that can't touch a curve ball.

I'd try and trade him to a team that knows his actual name.

I'm thinking mutual salary dump here- Soriano and Fukudome to San Francisco for Barry Zito and Nate Schierholtz.

That is not a typo. He thought that, nodded to himself and then typed it. "Rafeal" Soriano and Fukudome for Barry FUCKING Zito (he had his legally changed, I believe) and Schierholtz. I don't have the words to describe how stupid that idea is. I just don't.

Sure Zito took some raps but he started out 0-8 and finished with 4 quality starts in 5 games.

Damn critics. Don't they know that winning is overrated?

With Lincecum, Lowry, Cain, Sanchez as the big four the Giants can afford this. Schierholtz could be a future all-star but Soriano and Fukudome already are and Fukudome's Japanese Heritage would play well in San Fran.

Brilliant. The Giants would totally take on Soriano's monster contract and Fukudome solely based on the fact that Fuku is from Japan. Most trades are actually based on where a person was born. It's a fact. Look it up.

In RF - Schierholtz

Catching - Soto. And Koyie Hill.

Wait, why aren't we trading Soto too? No one has a bunch of hustling 22-year-olds they don't want?

Zambrano, Zito, Harden, Ted Lilly and Ryan Dempster make a very expensive Starting Rotation and they also leave Rich Hill and Jason Marquis to move for prospects.

If you take off the "for prospects" at the end of that sentence, it actually works for me.

The Bullpen. Gosh I wish they'd have kept Kerry Wood -

Fiddlesticks, I agree.

but Guzman, Samardzija, Marmol and Gregg from the Right Side all have closer potential. Gaudin is solid in the middle.

and Cotts, and Sean Marshall man the Left Side.

So the Lineup is -

I would advise against reading this next section on a full stomach. Don't say I didn't warn you.

1. CF Joey Gathwright - the next Willie Wilson/ Bobby Dernier

2. SS Theriot

3. RF Schierholz

4. C Soto

5. 1B Hinske / Hoffpair

6. 3B Wiggington

7. LF Montanez or DeRosa

8. 2B Fontenot

Wow. I would comment here, but he's not Dunn (you love it) with the awesomeness yet.

If Free Agent Adam Dunn comes cheap enough he could play RF with Montanez moving to the bench.

Yep. Because, when you are trying to build on defense, enthusiasm and hustle, the name Adam Dunn should be at the top of your list.

But we added speed in CF, kept the defense strong up the middle, added Left Handed power, reduced the clutch strike outs by moving Soriano, added another veteran lefty who has a much different arm angle than Ted Lilly. Kept a youthful bullpen in place. and Added - potential future rotation pieces in Patton and Tillman and a potential future stick in Henson. Not too mention getting younger with Schierholtz, Montanez, Gathwright representing the future core with Hoffpair and Vetters and Soto.

The lack of any type of logic whatsoever in that paragraph makes my physically ill. Maybe this is a all just huge joke. Let's just move on.

Marquis would move to the Rockies or Mets.

He would have to, there is no room for him in this awe-inspiring rotation and his arm angle is too similar to Ted Lilly's.

Hill would be a nice addition with the Yankees.

Yes he would. If we do none of the stuff this guy suggests (and god-willing we won't), we MUST do this one. I'll even pitch in on his plane ticket.

Maybe you'd move Cedeno, a reliever, and Reed Johnson or Felix Pie for the right bag of prospects.

Replace "prospects" with "balls" and you might have some takers.

But this team would be capable of winning, fun to watch, and capable of sustaining winning with guys like Pie (who I think strikes out too much), Colvin, Henson, Vetters, Tillman and Patton coming on.

Yeah, let's make sure we keep Pie in all this. He hustles too much to let go.

It also leaves Zito and Lilly as lefties over 30 and puts a lineup in place with only Wiggington at 3rd over 30 at 31.

Youth before talent. That's how you build a consistent winner.

The bench is veteran and flexible with Hinske at 3B/1b/RF/LF, DeRosa- if not starting- capable at SS, 3B, 1b, LF and RF, Reed Johnson who can play all 3 outfield positions, Ronnie Cedeno in the middle of the Infield and Koyie Hill as the back-up catcher.

I hope Reed Johnson likes to run, because unless we can convince the other team to only hit the ball directly to Hinske, there will be a whole lot of balls rolling all the way to the ivy.

It moves 6 players over 30, by leaving Daryle Ward off the roster and moving Fukudome, Soriano, Lee, and Ramirez and confirming that Jason Marquis is expendable.

No Daryle Ward! Have you know soul, sir?

It also puts players behind the oldest parts of the roster and makes future moves, like trading Ted Lilly, a long term possibility but not a necessity.

Arm angle, shmarm angle, we need more young hustlers!

This team contends - for a long time.

No, no they don't.

Wow.

Go Cubs.

All Aboard!

FINALLY.

According to ESPN, the Cubs have inked everyone's favorite mental patient, Milton Bradley, to a 3-year, 30 million dollar deal. As you are probably well aware, I am a HUGE fan of this deal.

The Countdown to the Meltdown (trademark pending) begins in 3, 2, 1...

Wonder if I can write off a $200 Bradley jersey as a "business expense."

Go Cubs!

My Wife is Pissed

In not-really-that-shocking news, your Chicago Cubs have traded dreamboat Mark DeRosa to the Cleveland Indians for three minor leaguers. Talking with Martin earlier, we came to the conclusion that this is probably the precursor to a Peavy dead (or at least that's what we are hoping). If that is the case, I can live with this trade as long as the Bradley deal is as done as they are saying. Otherwise, it seems downright idiotic to get rid of a guy who can play at least 4 positions and is one of the club's most consistent hitters. Let's hope Hendry knows what he is doing.

Personally, I am gonna miss DeRo. He was, as the hacks at the Trib would say, "old school." He did the little things, played hard and never bitched (even when he was all but gone last year in the Roberts trade). And by God was he gorgeous. Er...I mean his swing, his swing was gorgeous. I wish him well in Cleveland.

Now excuse me while I try to coax Ms. J Dot off the ledge.

Go Cubs.

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my three readers!

It's gonna be in the 60's today in Mesa. Spring training can't come fast enough.

Go Cubs.

A State of Bliss

Before you ask, it has absolutely nothing to do with the f#%@in' Joey Gathright signing. Don't even get me started.

Actually, I have achieved complete happiness for a reason completely unrelated to the Cubs (via The Observation Bubble) :





Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Go Bliss!

All I Want For Christmas.

Since the Cubs were outbid for the services of the ancient Raul Ibanez and they were unwilling to trade all of their players to get Peavy, all attention now shifts to one of my favorite players...

Milton Obelle Bradley.

I have always been a fan of his and not just because he's always one heckle away from going postal. The Cubs are in desperate need of an OF who can do the "little things" like hit, field and run. MOB can do all three pretty well.

And while he has a short fuse and enjoys throwing projectiles into the stands, I think he could actually be a good addition to the Cubs clubhouse. We have too many good guys on this team. Guys like Lee and DeRo are great about saying the right thing to the media. They smile and laugh. They talk about how "lucky they are to play a game for a living." The one thing they aren't good at is getting angry. Forget players only meetings and all that BS. The Cubs need a guy who has no problem sulking after a bad loss. They need a guy who curses at the media once in awhile. They need a guy who is just loopy enough to whip a bat at someones head if he feels he let the team down. That guy is Milton Bradley.

Not sold yet? Let me break it down then.

The Good:

In 123 games in 2008, MOB put up some nice numbers.

78 R, 22 HR, 77 RBI, 80 BB, .321 AVG, .436 OBP, .563 SLG and .999 OPS.

2008 Rankings:
1st in AL in OBP
1st in AL in OPS
4th in AL in SLG
3rd in AL in BA
10th in AL in BB.

Imagine those numbers in the Cubs already potent lineup. Did I mention he's a switch-hitter who can play all three outfield spots?

The Bad:

He’s what some baseball experts refer to as "a tad injury-prone."

19-Sep-08 Missed 2 games (left wrist injury).
12-Sep-08 Missed 2 games (wrist injury).
18-Aug-08 Missed 2 games (illness).
10-Aug-08 Missed 5 games (strained left quadriceps).
04-Aug-08 Missed 5 games (quadricep injury).
12-Jul-08 Missed 1 game (left knee injury).
24-Jun-08 Missed 1 game (strained left quadriceps).
20-Jun-08 Missed 2 games (quadricep injury).
31-May-08 Missed 1 game (dizziness).
16-May-08 Missed 2 games (right shoulder injury).
02-May-08 Missed 1 game (hamstring).
21-Sep-07 Missed 12 games (right oblique muscle strain).
08-Aug-07 Missed 4 games (hamstring).
07-Jul-07 Missed 8 games (oblique injury).
20-Jun-07 Missed 16 games (calf injury).
30-May-07 Missed 14 games (hamstring).
19-May-07 Missed 4 games (hamstring).
11-May-07 Missed 15 games (hamstring).
01-Sep-06 Missed 1 game (ankle injury).
14-Jul-06 Missed 20 games (shoulder injury).
06-Jun-06 Missed 36 games (right knee injury).
02-Oct-05 Missed 38 games (Torn left Patella Tendon).
23-Jul-05 Missed 47 games (finger injury).
13-Aug-04 Missed 1 game (hamstring).
01-Jun-04 Missed 2 games (ankle injury).
04-May-04 Missed 3 games (ankle injury).
29-Aug-03 Missed 46 games (back injury).
08-May-03 Missed 12 games (strained right hamstring).
30-Aug-02 Missed 16 games (appendicitis).
04-Jun-02 Missed 29 games (eye Contusion).
17-Apr-02 Missed 4 games (right quadricep).

That's only 348 games missed in 7 seasons. Soriano's on pace to shatter that record, so MOB should fit right in.

The Crazy:

MOB can come slightly unglued at times.

24-Sep-07 Torn ACL, sidelined through end of season.

Bradley tore his ACL when manager Bud Black tackled him to keep him killing an ump.

To be fair, he WAS safe.

29-Sep-04 Suspended by the Dodgers for the remainder of the season.

A fan threw a plastic bottle at Bradley. Bradley threw the bottle back.

MOB is not now or never will be a fan of littering.

30-Jun-04 Missed 4 games (suspension).

Bradley threw a bag of balls onto the field following an ejection.

Again, in the interest of full disclosure, the pitch WAS a ball.

I have always been a fan of adding a little crazy to the mix, so signing MOB seems like a no-brainer to me. I know it's been mentioned before, but ask yourself this simple question:

What happened when the Bulls signed Rodman?

Obviously, MOB is not even in the Worm's league when it comes nut-job behavior and Karl Malone (to my knowledge) doesn't play baseball, so it's not a perfect analogy, but you know what I mean. Adding a couple sprinkles of loony tunes to the mix can take a team from simply above average to championship-caliber.

If nothing else, MOB will make them fun to watch again.

Go Cubs.

Unrelated Post: Harry Sells Hockey From the Grave

Check out NBC's TV ad for the Winter Classic.



Go Cubs.