Hendry Continues to Trade For Pitchers NOT Named Peavy

According to my "sources" (read:ESPN), the Cubs have made another blockbuster trade.

Out:
Ronny "What, who me?" Cedeno
Garrett "Oh, come on, I just got here!" Olson

In:
Aaron "Older, Less Talented Version of Peavy" Heilman

ESPN's Jerry Crasnick adds:

Olson had been mentioned as a potential trade chip if the Cubs decided to make another run at San Diego's Jake Peavy. The Cubs' deal with Seattle could put an end to speculation about the team trying to acquire Peavy.

Apparently, Jerry hasn't spent a whole lot of time reading the newspapers in this city. There won't be an end to the speculation just because Olson is gone. The writers will just replace all references to "Olson" with "Heilman" in their old articles and run them again as the latest "rumor" about the imminent Peavy trade. Good times.

Personally, I will miss Ronny. He was like a taller, less likeable version of Augie Ojeda.

Go Cubs.