100 Observations About the Cubs (Mostly): Part 4 (Lack of Sleep Edition)

I've been up since 4AM, so I came a few short today. Sorry.

61-74

61. I saw this headline: “Ward's return puts pressure on Edmonds” and thought they were seriously considering Ward in center. Worse, I was OK with it. I think that pretty much sums up my opinion on the Edmonds signing.

62. Sometimes I think “bunting directly back to the pitcher” is a drill that the Cubs actually practice.

63. Every time I see a shot of Fontenot standing next to D-Lee, thousands of short jokes run through my head. Then I remember he gets to play baseball for a living. Then I weep into my pillow.

64. I’m pretty sure that Google was invented just to help me find out answers to Aflac trivia questions.

65. If anyone wants to explain why WGN decided WGN America: TV You Can’t Ignore was a good idea, I’m all ears.

66. I think sending Aramis on a 3-2 pitch is Lou’s way of saying, “I don’t think this inning is going anywhere.”

67. Want a simple and effective way to announce to the world that you are a douche bag? Wear a White Sox jersey to Wrigley when the Sox are not the opponent. Does the trick every time.

68. If you are one of the first 10,000 fans to enter Wrigley and you DON’T have a child with you, I’m pretty sure you need to find better ways to occupy your time.

69. When ESPN decides to give us Chris Berman as the play-by-play man for a nationally televised Cubs game, I can’t help but wonder what we did to piss them off.

70. I think MLB teams are contractually obligated to post 11-8 scores on the bottom line followed by a stat showing a player who is 0-4 on the day.

71. I don’t care if this makes me sound old, but I remember fondly the good old days when I didn’t have to stand up for EVERY 2-strike count.

72. If you fill out the “paper work” at the ballpark just to get a Cubs towel, you are either too lazy to do laundry or you have no idea what the phrase “credit score” means.

73. You know the difference is between Hawk and Santo? Santo still does his job when the Cubs are losing.

74. I’m convinced that Z removes his cap when he points to the sky because he was told as a kid that it isn’t polite to point at Jesus with your hat on.

More to come later tonight!