While They Rest, Why Not Review?

So, after a "game" against Dusty Baker's Reds on Wednesday where the Cubs got beaten like a red-headed, freckled, bedazzled jean jacket-wearing step child, the gods of scheduling thankfully gave them an off day today. And boy do they need it.

On April 24th, they were 15-6 and coming off an exciting extra innings victory in the great state of Colorado. 13 games and one poorly timed Live Blog later, they are now 19-15. Eek. Experts, reports, bloggers, regular fans and whatever category Mariotti falls under (my vote is for "nincompoop") are losing their minds. Since I have already addressed the "Chicken Little" Syndrome" that seems to plague Cubs fans and HJE took these same fans behind the woodshed a few days ago, I feel my time is better served with some positive refection about this team. So, as the Cubs lick their wounds and prepare for the "best team in baseball" this weekend, let's take a tour of HappyCubstown, USA (pop. 4ish).

1) Carlos Zambrano Might, In Fact, Be Good At This Pitching Thing

Don't believe me? Want stats? Here you go:

After 8 starts last year, Carlos was rocking these numbers:

Record: 3-3
ERA: 5.83
IP: 46.1
Hits: 50
Runs: 32
ER: 30
BBI: 24
K: 35
HR: 10

Not exactly Cy Young-esque

Now, here are his stats for 2008 after the same amount of starts:

Record: 5-1
ERA: 1.80
Innings: 55
Hits: 47
Runs: 11
ER: 11
HR: 3
BBI: 14
K: 38

So basically, he is significantly better in EVERY category except for K's. Wow. Also remember, that he gets better as it gets warmer. If nothing else, it's gonna be a blast watching him pitch every 5th day. That and he's a borderline loon so...BONUS!

2) Rich Hill Can't Hurt You Anymore

I have always felt like the one sane person in a land of nut jobs when it came to Rich. I have been screaming myself hoarse over the years saying:

Rich Hill Sucks Donkey Testicles (and not in a good way)!

But does anyone listen? No. They pencil him in as the #3 starter, drool over the 15+ games he's gonna win, "ooh and ahh" when he throws one of those stupid 15 MPH sweeping curve balls that fools no one AND dance the jig when he falls to them in their fantasy draft.

Then what happens?

He is worse than anyone could have every imagined. Like, say, pulled after only recording 2 outs in the first inning worse, as an example.

I've seen this moron struggle with fielding drills that an 8 year old fresh off exploratory brain surgery could master and yet he's our golden boy? Huh? Wha?

At least Lou has seen the light and sent his ass packing. Good riddance.


NOTE: The first person who comes up to me in the next few weeks talking about how Hill has "found it" in the minors and rattles off the "awesome" strikeout numbers he is putting up on the farm, is going to get beat with his or her own shoe. Don't say I didn't warn you.

3) A Youth Movement With Absolutely Zero Ties to LSU

That's right. With Soto, Marmol and even Cedeno, the Cubs actually have some promising young talent that is not, in fact, "scrappy." Without going to overboard, there's a pretty good chance that two of these guys could become regular all-stars AND the third (that's you Ronnie) has a new "Oh, you want me to hit the ball OUT of the infield, now I get it!" approach which makes him valuable. Translation? More starts for Cedeno which means less at-bats for the "Bayou Boys." So, apparently there is a God and he hates gumbo. Good to know.

4) There's Only 6 Years Left In Soriano's Contract

I kid. I kid.

It's like 5.5 years.

Go Cubs.