2008 MVP? Answer is as easy as...(pun removed at request of host).

No, I did not suffer a major head trauma over the weekend (that I can remember) nor am I currently drunk. I am, in fact, dead serious. The 2008 Chicago Cubs MVP is Felix Pie. Yes, that Felix Pie.

(Waiting patiently for my four readers to stop shaking their heads.)

Don't believe me? Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we. Coming out of spring training, the young phenom Pie was all set to take over in center. It was his time to shine. Problem was, he forgot to bring his bat with him when they broke camp. In 30 games to start the year, the "5-tool" star managed 14 hits. FOURTEEN. That's half a hit per game for all you math geeks. That is not exactly making the most of your opportunity. In those same 30 games, he struck out a whopping 23 times. He drove in 7 and had a homer. Pie jerseys were approaching "Half Off!" status and the boo-birds were out in force at Wrigley.

So how is he the MVP? It is because of this amazing display of sucktitude that Jim "yes, I have room for thirds" Hendry was able to make TWO very important roster moves that solidified the Cubs as the team to beat in the NL.

1) Reed Johnson

After being let go by the Blue Jays, Johnson was basically just looking to play baseball...anywhere...when Hendry scooped him up. Originally just acquired as an extra outfielder, all Reed did was shove Pie aside and start raking the ball. In 86 games, he's slugging .458 with 45 runs scored. He's been solid in center and clutch when it counts. Basically, he was the anti-Pie. Not bad for a guy without a team in April.

2) Jim Edmonds

Speaking of guys without a team, Jimbo was hobbled by a calf injury to start the season and was putting up Pie-like numbers for the Padres. Showing absolutely zero patience for the struggling veteran who had done nothing but hit his whole career, San Diego gave Edmonds his walking papers after only 26 games. Ouch. Despite many desperate pleas by dumb-ass bloggers like this idiot, Hendry signed Jim and hooked him up to the rejuvenation machine. Just like Reed, he has caught everything hit his way in center and belted 15 HR along the way. Not bad at all for a former douchebag.

So as the Cubs head down the homestretch, moving closer and closer to a win total that should end up somewhere north of 90, take a moment to thank Mr. Pie for all he has done for this team. Without his valuable lack of contributions early in the season, our beloved team wouldn't have the best record in baseball let alone a 4.5 game lead in the division. Way to go Pie, your MVP trophy is in the mail!

Go Cubs.