Schadenfreude Sunday

The most common and overused argument stupid people make when attempting to creatively make fun of the Cubs or their fans usually involves the words "1908" or "Bartman." And while its true that the Cubs have pretty much blown for the last 100 years, the Cubs (at least in the last 30-40 years or so) have pretty regularly had at least one or two players per generation that provided really solid entertainment.

This is emphasized in the ESPN ratings grab known as "Baseball Tonight's All-Time Franchise Players." Its roughly the entertainment equivalent of "Who's Now" or "Titletown, U.S.A."; however, it provides an interesting comparison for those fans (especially Brewers fans) who want to stupidly criticize the Cubs for their 100 years of futility.

Let's take a look at the Cubs' list:

Cap Anson
Ernie Banks
Mordecai Brown
Mark Grace
Gabby Hartnett
Ferguson Jenkins
Ryne Sandberg
Ron Santo
Sammy Sosa
Billy Williams

Out of a list of 10 players, that's 7 Hall of Famers, 2 likely Hall of Famers (Santo and Sosa), and one guy in the Honorary Wrigleyville Ass-Getting Hall of Fame* (Grace). Not too bad...not to mention guys like Andre Dawson and Hack Wilson didn't even make the list.

NOW...

for fun...

let's compare that with the list of the team whose fans talked a whole lot of shit leading up to this week, the Milwaukee Brewers:

Mike Caldwell
Cecil Cooper
Jim Gantner
Teddy Higuera
Geoff Jenkins
Paul Molitor
Ben Ogilve
Dan Plesac
Gorman Thomas
Robin Yount

Okay, now that's one...two hall of famers, about six middle of the road offensive players, and Dan Plesac. Dan Mother F'n Plesac. A guy who, while he was a closer for a little over half his Brewers' career, was a middle reliever for the majority of his baseball career.

Let me write that again: In the entire Brewers' history, there weren't ten players better than a middle reliever.

Of the other players on the list, I don't think anything needs to be said about Teddy Higuera or Geoff Jenkins. My only question regarding these guys is how the hell did Jeromy Burnitz not make the list? And how sad is that last question?

So for all the crap Cubs fans have had to put up with over the last 100 years of bad teams, at least we can take a little solace in the number of truly great players that have come through town. And the team whose ass the Cubs kicked this week has Geoff Jenkins.

Ahh...screw that. We've sucked. For a long time. But other teams have sucked worse.

*Still Under Construction