Two Teams Enter. Two Teams Leave. So Everyone Calm Down.

Tonight it begins. Two bitter rivals square off at the Corner of Clark and Addison. The Chicago Cubs and their nemesis from the north...the Milwaukee Brewers.

Who will be the victors?

What are the spoils for said victors?

Why is the media so obsessed about a series in April?

When will I stop asking questions in giant fonts?

Sorry.

After reading countless articles over the past few days about how much this series matters, I kind of lost it a little bit. I mean, we get it. It's the Brewers. But do they really think we are gonna be swinging from the rafters at Wrigley tonight in anticipation of this epic battle? Seriously?

Let me give you a few reasons why this series isn't quite the season-defining juggernaut that media thinks it is.


1) 25 Games

That's it. We've played 25 games, folks. The 2008 season is a month old. By my math (and bear with me, I ain't so good with numbers), we have around 137 games left. So forgive me if I think there may be one or two more pivotal series between now and say...4 MONTHS FROM NOW! Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic about our 16-9 team, but when people start freaking out about a 3 game series when snow is still a realistic possibility, I think it's time to take a deep breath and back away from the ledge for a minute. For god's sake, at least wait until Prince Fielder eats his way up 5 sizes into a glorified pair of "fat-man sweats" before totally losing it.

2. Marquis v. Sheets

What's the over/under on this game? 35? Conventional wisdom would dictate that this will be a low scoring affair because of the weather, but with these two yokels on the hill, the score could be 42-41 after 3 innings.

Better question: What are the chances that EITHER of these guys is a factor down the stretch?
1000-1?

Marquis can probably keep up his "smoke and mirrors" thing until the All-Star Break and then either a) he'll be traded for a bag of balls and some sunflower seeds or b) he'll be taken behind the woodshed and put out of his misery. There is no middle ground here. Sheets? Last I looked, the line in Vegas on whether or not his arm will actually detach from his body is a "pick 'em," so best case scenario he's making a comeback as a lefty come August, worst case he's enjoying his 57th trip to the DL.

What I'm saying here is, this match up tonight isn't a playoff preview by any stretch of the imagination. Just remember that.

3. This is the Cardinals Division to Lo...

Damn, I couldn't even finish typing that without falling over giggling. Don't jinx them you say? Here's what I say. While they have had an AMAZING start, take a gander at who they trot out weekly to pitch.

Adam Wainwright
Kyle Lohse
Brandon Looper
Todd Wellemeyer (yes, that Todd Wellemeyer)

I don't care if Pujols hits 80 HR this year AND pitches 10 complete games, they've got no shot. That being said, I am fully aware that this post guarantees that the Cubs will get swept this weekend in STL. I can live with that.

4. We've got bigger things to worry about.

Like, for example, this:


Damn you SI. Damn you to hell.

Go Cubs.