76. In other words, these types of lists have been easier every other year of my life.
77. Time zones blow.
78. I'm almost positive that Lou Pinella would rather take a wine bottle corkscrew to his nuts than have to start Jason Marquis one more time, but has to because Sean Marshall is hurt and Keanu Hill is still trying to breathe through his eyeballs.
79. Saw this picture on Desipio, and couldn't help but wonder if Jason decided to take up painting.
80. Over/Under on when Carlos Marmol's right arm secedes from the rest of his body: 20 games.
81. Umm, Kerry? That guy standing up there with two outs and two on in the ninth...his name is Juan Pierre. You might not remember him...he was the guy who grounded out to second base 94% of the time when he was on the Cubs a couple years ago. Maybe you shouldn't treat him like Ty Fucking Cobb up there. You did much better with Matt Kemp.
82. If Ed MacMahon's house is in foreclosure, what chance do the rest of us have? Can't he just pay them with one of those oversized checks that come in the prize van? (Ba-dum-bum)
83. I wish Michael Barrett was still on the team, if only so Z had something to punch.
84.Derrek Lee can come back any time now.
85. The bullpen phone at Dodger Stadium “malfunctioned” on Friday. Carlos Marmol's right arm had no comment.
86. With the 611th pick of the draft, the Cubs picked Jericho Jones. He's a white guy. And he wasn't in a blaxpoitation film in the 1970s. Both of these facts astounded me.
87. I'm at the point where, if Jason Marquis isn't going to throw a shutout, I want him to give up as many runs as humanly possible. And I'm okay with that.
88. Speaking of players I want to see get torched on a regular basis, the name Joba Chamberlain comes to mind. I have no problem with the kid, but when roughly 75% of the baseball stories on espn.com are dedicated to the glory of his first start in the major league (all 3 innings of it), karma needs to step in.
89. If the Cubs went after C.C. Sabathia (as so many are speculating), would he and Z get into a brawl over the postgame spread, or would Daryle Ward just eat them both?
90. Answer before thinking: Cubs promotional shot or screencap of this week's pederast on “To Catch a Predator”:
91. Just some quick math: if the Cubs go 5 games over .500 at home, and 5 games over .500 on the road for the rest of the year, they'll win 94 games. How f'n scary is that?
92. If this were any other year, I would have been ridiculously afraid of typing the above.
93. The pending fight over the sale of the Cubs between Sam Zell and Bud Selig will be almost as fun as watching Selig get slapped all over the Congressional floor.
94. Joe Morgan is an asshat. Yes, everybody knows this already.
95. One last time, for the people who STILL haven't been paying attention: No, the Cubs did not draft Josh Hamilton and trade him to the Reds. They sold the pick without knowing what player the Reds were going to draft. Move on.
96. So I'm pretty sure I'm not the only Cubs fan who is audibly laughing with the report that “The Orioles no longer can get the same deal for Brian Roberts that the Cubs offered during the off-season.” Screw you, MacPhail.
97. It turns out that, under Mark Prior's elbow injury was some other injury “commonly associated with trauma, most likely a fall.” I always knew I hated Marcus Giles' roided up ass.
98. Why did Todd Hollandsworth cut the curly mullet?
99. The remainder of the Cardinals season hinges on the injury status of Todd Wellemeyer. Read that again. And smile.
100. 40-24. Best record in baseball. Damn.
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