10. People here are far too friendly. On a 45 minute run, I had a minimum of 5 people actually say "hi" to me. It was like being a freshman in college all over again.
9. Jason loses things like its his job.
8. Everyone here is from Chicago...except for the random guy from Missouri who may have been Jason's Personal Jesus, mostly because he was at the KU-Mizzou football game this year. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been more impressed if the guy had said he was at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Or if he had actually written the Declaration of Independence.
7. I am really bad at picking out books. I spent literally an hour and fifteen minutes in the Barnes and Noble trying to pick out a book to read this week. I stood in line 3 times with a book, only to change my mind at the last second. Apparently, I can stay with the same girl for 11 years, yet buying a book I may or may not read for four days is an ordeal of unsurpassed proportions.
6. The "Westin vacation owner's update" that you get when you come for your week here is "a great chance to ask questions and find out what's new about your ownership-its a terrific opportunity!" That is, until you tell them that your wife is not with you and you can't be cajoled into buying more weeks with their company. Then, "if you don't have any questions, you probably don't need to do it."
5. Boneless chicken wings are overrated.
4. So is NASCAR.
3. If a woman gets into a hot tub wearing lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and about 50 other types of makeup on her face, you can be pretty sure that everything on her body below that face isn't real.
2. I will never be good nor interested enough in the sport of golf to justify paying $210 to play 18 holes...and unless you refer to yourself as "cablanasian" and are married to a swedish model, you probably aren't either. You might as well give me the $210 and I'll save you the trouble by throwing every ball you have into the lakes throughout the course.
1. Very few things are funnier than watching a grown man try to apologize for loudly using the word "fuck" in front of a 4-year old.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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I'm on the edge of my seat, what book did you end up buying?
ReplyDeleteI think I've mentioned these before, but here are two good vacation books that you can read in two or three sittings: Balling the Jack by Frank Baldwin or Gary Benchly, Rock Star by some other guy. The former has gambling, booze, and music all wrapped into a fast-paced package. The latter is more just a guy going forming a band, going on tour, and all that ensues.
Is it a rule that if you're a guy on vacation you must channel the inner Hunter S. Thompson by reading books about lives that have been spent on various (drug, prostitute, hooker, alcohol) binges? I guess we have our versions of those reads...only lamer.
ReplyDelete(Top?) Six Things Realized Whilst Husband is in AZ for a Week:
ReplyDelete1. It's just not as funny when the dog smacks it head on the stair rail and no one else is around to laugh with you.
2. When Dad comes to "help" you w/ the dog and stuff for the week by yourself, really it's like taking care of two living things.
3. WGN's Pat Tomasulo is getting more attractive as the week goes on. Maybe it's b/c he too is bitter that he didn't get to go to AZ.
4. Nascar is downright Laughable!
5. When you don't do the bills in the house for a long time and then suddenly decide to open the mail...wow, heat is really expensive!
6. "No, I'm just gonna stay in and get a bunch of work done this weekend" has to be one of the most delusional sentences I've uttered.
7. Why do websites have the "word verification" quizzes? This unintentional idiot quiz has to have some purpose. Is it so that no one buys tickets to a concert or posts to a blog drunk? Is that why there always random and displayed like a drunk person would hand write them? Like right now, I can't post this until I type "ystsx". Now, it's been a while and my drunk is rusty, but I think that means "Yes to Sex!" Who knows, the translation is lost sometimes. Oh, and has anyone ever failed the quiz? Would I NOT get to post my comment if I failed the "ystsx" quiz??? Oh the pressure. Here goes...
Incidentally, the next one is "wrenp". Ohmygod-that's almost a real word!! I can type that word and maybe even get away with it in Scrabble (unless Amy was playing of course).
ReplyDeleteI decided to go with "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" by David Sedaris. At various points, I had considered "The Omnivores Dilemma," "NPR's 'This I Believe'," one book about native American history and one book about media. It was rather pathetic.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought on this one-sided topic...maybe drunk ticket-buying is rampant? I mean, why else would shows like Brooks & Dunn sell out?! (Take that Brent) ("vahws" is the next quiz..hmm..."vahws"..nope, can't make that into a joke and wouldn't dare want to type it if I was drunk. Yikes!)
ReplyDelete